Learn to Hate You - Chapters 1 thru 12

Chapter 1

She walked out of the airport and clutched her coat tighter to her as she glanced around the parking lot trying to locate her rental car. She hated Virginia and hated snow even more. With a groan, she yanked on her suitcase to get it to roll through the brown slush on the sidewalk and headed toward what she hoped was the right direction of her rental. Ten minutes later, after scraping ice and snow from the windshield, she sat inside the car and looked in the rearview mirror. Her face was red from being outside in the wind and cold. This weather was a far cry from the weather in Vegas. It got cold in Vegas, but it didn't snow.

With a sigh, she glanced at the clock and figured she might as well get going. This was not the trip home that she wanted to do. She hadn't been back in Virginia since her parent's funeral almost 18 years ago. Nothing was holding her there any longer and she had packed up and left on a whim to Los Angeles, hoping that something would come along. The years had been bumpy, but she made it through. She was almost positive that her parents were rolling in their graves with the things that she had done. If they had only knew about high school! They'd have really had a fit. How they didn't know, she'd never know.

The parking lot of the funeral home was packed. Jimmy had a lot of friends and family, so this wasn't a big surprise to her. She fixed her makeup in the mirror and with another heavy sigh, she was once again outside in the weather, heading into the funeral home. Once inside, she shook off the snow and hung up her coat. She heard a few whispers and looked up. Jimmy's sister and brother in law where sitting on a couch watching her and whispering to one another. Ashley had once been her best friend. They had been attached at the hip from the time they both got detention in ninth grade until everything with Jimmy began. From there it went downhill.

"Mysteria." Ashley stood up and held out her arms. "I didn't know that you were coming." Mysti hugged her quickly.

"I'm sorry about Jimmy." Mysti stepped back from Ashley. She watched as Ashley glanced over her, taking in the pink and black hair, tattoos and piercings.

"You look..." Ashley paused. "Good." Mysti gave her a half smile. "Interesting choice in hair color."

"Thanks." Mysti pierced her lips together, her lip ring jabbing her gum on the inside. "Where's Jodi?" Ashley's eyes widened at the mention of her sister in law. "She's the one that called me." Ashley glanced back at her husband.

"I thought my mom called you. Or you heard from Dave."

"Is Dave here?" Mysti asked as Ashley nodded toward the main viewing room.
"Excuse me, I'm going to go pay my respects to Jodi."

"Do you think that's such a good idea?"

"Well it would be rude not to. I think we can be civil to each other for a couple days. It's not like I'm going to see anyone again. I don't plan on coming back to Virginia after this." Mysti said then excused herself. She walked into the viewing room and hung out in the back, taking a look around. She could see Jodi , Jimmy's wife talking to someone. Jimmy's parents sat in the front row, his mom dabbing her eyes every now and again as people walked up to give their condolences.

"Mysteria?" a gruff voice asked. Mysti turned and smiled when she saw who it was. He opened his arms and pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek before letting her go.

"Don't you look nice." Mysti grinned as she looked over her old friend Dave Grohl. "I haven't seen you in ages. How are you?" He grabbed her hand and led her over to a corner where two empty seats had opened up. They sat down so they could talk.
"I'm doing good. Well considering." He nodded toward the front of the room. "Have you gone up yet?" She shook her head. "They did the best they good. He still doesn't look like himself." They both fell silent for a moment. "You still in LA?"

"No, I moved to Vegas. I'm working at one of the shops on the strip." Dave took her arm and examined some of her tattoos. "That's self done." Dave examined her arm more closely.

"Who'd you study under?"

"Believe it or not Kat." Mysti watched as his eyes widened. "I happened to be in her shop getting a tattoo done by her and we started talking about how I was looking to apprentice for tattooing since I was already piercing and she said I could apprentice under her." Mysti turned and lifted her hair to show him the portrait tattoo of her parents. "She did that for me that day."

"I miss them." He squeezed her hand. "You mom let us get away with murder."

"I do too. Every day." Mysti squeezed his hand back. "If she only knew what we were doing up in my room with the door closed and incense burning." They both shared a laugh and out of the corner of her eye she saw Jodi look her way. “Have you talked to Jodi?” Dave nodded. “She called me to tell me. It was a very quick conversation with the funeral information.”

“You saw him after they got married didn’t you?” Dave asked quietly as people gathered near them. Mysti nodded. “I figured so.”

“I moved to LA and he married her a week later. Then he shows up at my door step without even calling, telling me he had to see me again to be sure. He told Jodi he was going to rehab for a few months. He stayed with me the entire time. I had been clean and sober. I obviously relapsed.”

“You didn’t.” Dave’s voice clearly showed shock. “I saw you after you got out of rehab, you were doing so well.” They both sat quietly for a few minutes, watching the people walk by the casket. “What was it?”

“Heroin.” Mysteria sighed. “I had never done it before. I was stupid, let him shoot me up.” She looked down at her hands. “I spent the night puking my guts out in the bathroom. Jimmy left the next day and I never heard from him again.” She looked up at Dave. “I didn’t get addicted, but the coke was enough. Kat told me I either check myself back into rehab or she couldn’t let me work at the shop anymore.” Dave took Mysteria’s hand and squeezed it again. “I chose coke over a job. Started stripping, met some interesting men and not so nice men. Good relationships, bad relationships. I had to support the coke habit. It was easy to come by.” Dave nodded as he listened to his old friend. “Then I was introduced to Nikki.”

“Sixx?” Dave asked. Mysteria nodded. “How’d you meet him?”

“Kat dated him for quite a while. I think they were even engaged. He’d come into the shop or she’d have me go with him to his studio to help with his photo shoots that she was helping him with. We got to talking and he told him to read his book, Heroin Diaries and I couldn’t put it down once I started. He was kind of the kick in the ass that I needed to get my life back in order.” Mysteria glanced around and noticed there weren’t a lot of people around the casket. “Okay, I think I can do this now.”

“Want me to go with you?” Dave asked helping her up. Mysteria bit her lip and frowned for a moment before nodding. They made their way through the people and once they were in front of the casket, she hesitated. Dave put his hand on the small of her back, not really pushing her forward, but more of a reassuring touch. She took a deep breath and stepped forward. Jimmy looked peaceful, almost like he was sleeping. He had been dressed in his favorite band shirt and his leather biker jacket. His long blonde hair was brushed and over his shoulders and he had on his ever present red bandana. She had always told him he looked like a cuter version of Bret Michaels. Which he had in the beginning, until the drugs took over.

“What did you do to yourself Jimmy?” Mysteria whispered reaching out to touch his cold hand. She felt the tears slip down her cheeks. Regardless of what they had gone through, he had been her first for many things, including her first love. He would forever hold a special spot in her heart. She felt Dave’s hand move as she leaned down and kissed Jimmy’s cheek. “I’ll always love you.” She stood up, looked down at him one more time then turned to Dave. “I need to get the hell out of here.” Without a word, he nodded and took her hand leading her through the crowd of people. From where Jodi sat, talking with people, she glared at Mysteria knowing the same thing that Mysteria had just whispered to Jimmy. They had married only a week after Mysteria up and left for California. It was almost Jimmy’s way of giving Mysteria the middle finger for leaving him without any notice. By that time, they were only seeing each other once in a while and it was usually just to get high. Jodi had started hanging around at the bar and Mysteria had known for a few weeks that Jimmy had been seeing her on the side, so it wasn’t really a surprise to her when they got married. It hurt, but the coke made her forget, especially when she got to California and it was readily available on almost every street corner or bar. You just had to know the right people and it didn’t take long for Mysteria to find and befriend those people.

Once outside, Mysteria took in a deep breath of cold air, letting it burn her lungs and dug in her pocket for her cigarettes and her keys. Finding both, she walked toward her rental car, lighting a cigarette. Dave had been stopped by a fan that happened to be at the showing and was talking about the old days. Mysteria got in her rental car and gave it a minute to warm up and then pulled out of her parking spot and headed for her parent’s house. She’d see Dave the next day at the funeral.

Mysteria dreaded pulling into the driveway of her parent’s house. Her aunt and uncle had been taking care of the property for her since she couldn’t bear to sell it. It was her child hood home and the last thing she had to remember her parent’s. Her cousin had been renting the house from her, but was currently abroad in Mexico for spring break from college. Once she graduated in June, she’d be moving to Las Vegas to stay with Mysteria while she went to the University of Nevada for her Master’s degree in Psychology.

She unlocked the door and stepped into the kitchen and flipped on the lights. It was just how she had remembered it. Memories of her parents came flooding back and she couldn’t stop the tears. She collapsed in a kitchen chair and put her head in her hands and cried. She cried for her parents, she cried for Jimmy and she cried for the life she had lived. At least the latter was getting better, but there was no bringing back her parents or Jimmy. When the doorbell rang, she nearly jumped out of the chair. No one in her family other than her cousin knew she was here. Wiping the tears away with the back of her hand, she went into the living room and looked out the window. Dave was standing on the front steps with a bag in one hand and a case of beer in the other. With a laugh, she opened unlocked and opened the door.

“And you knew I was here, how?” She asked letting him inside before shutting the cold out.

“I took a guess.” He handed her the bag. “Chinese and beer. I figured you might be hungry and I didn’t know if there’d be food here.”

“Keegan has been renting the house from me.” Mysteria led Dave into the kitchen where she sat the bag on the counter. “She’s in Mexico right now.”

“Good old Keegan. How is the old broad anyway?” Dave asked with a laugh. Keegan was only a few years younger than Mysteria and they had grown up together. Keegan’s parents had forbid her to hang out with Mysteria once they found out about Jimmy and his drug use. That didn’t stop Keegan from sneaking away and partying with them.

“She’s good. Moving to Vegas in July. She’ll be staying with me.” Mysteria set the food out on the table while Dave opened up two cans of beer and took a long drink from one of them. He sat down across from her and began opening the containers. “She’s going for her Master’s. Wants to be a psychiatrist. I told her I’d be her first patient. She already wants me to be the basis of her thesis.”

“Seriously?” Dave took a huge bite of an egg roll. Mysteria nodded. “Why?”

“Look at how screwed up my life was. Rehab twice for coke addiction. My shrink tells me I’m bipolar so I’m on like twenty different meds it seems. I go through these episodes where I’m like the friggin’ energizer bunny and stay up for days on end. I go to counseling once a week. I spend more on my medical shit than I do on my rent.” She sat down at the table and picked at the chicken in front of her before taking a bite.

“Are you still using?” Dave looked up at her to watch her expression. When she shook her head no, he believed her. “Do you have a sponsor?

“Nikki.” Mysteria opened her beer and took a drink. “He goes with me to the NA meetings when he’s in town. Who would have thought that Nikki Sixx of all people would help me turn my life around and end up being my sponsor? Believe me; I’ve had to call him at three in the morning before because I’d get this urge to go find some coke. The one night they were doing their residency and him and Courtney came and got me and made me stay with them at the hotel, he was afraid I was really going to go look for some.” She took another bite of her food. “Have you met him?”

“A few times, he’s a nice guy.” Dave watched her. “When I left for Seattle, I thought you’d quit. I didn’t realize that you’d get involved harder. I didn’t think that Jimmy would either. I lost touch with him once Nirvana took off. I tried getting ahold of him a few times, but the phone was disconnected.” They both picked at their food.

“Enough about the past. So how are you doing? The Foo Fighters putting out a new album soon?”

“We’re writing here and there. I just finished producing a movie called Sound City.”
“I heard about that. I follow you on Facebook.” Mysteria laughed lightly.

“Why’d we never hook up?” Dave asked a few minutes of being quiet. “Even after you and Jimmy split.”

“I don’t know. The thought had crossed my mind a few times.” Mysteria shrugged. “Guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

“You dating anyone?”

“Not at the moment. Nikki keeps trying to set me up on a blind date with this guy DJ, but I keep avoiding it. Pretty sure I’m going to have to give in.” Mysteria put her fork down. “I’m pretty sure I know who the guy is. He’s been in the studio and he plays in Sixx AM. So it wouldn’t be a ‘blind date’ per se. We’ve met a few times.” She bit her lip. “You still married to Jordyn?” Dave nodded. “So there’d be no hooking up now, Mister.”

“I didn’t say there was going to be. I was just asking about the past.” They ate in silence for a few minutes until Mysti pushed her plate away. “I can’t eat. Just thinking about Jimmy has me upset. When I heard Jodi’s voice on the phone, I knew something was wrong or he was dead.” She picked up her beer and finished it off before getting up and getting another one. She leaned against the counter and drank it. “I was so stupid to have let him come stay with me while he told her that he was in rehab. She would have known, well should have anway.” Dave turned around in his chair and looked at her. “What?”

“Did you invite him?” Mysteria shook her head. “So he just showed up then.” She nodded again. “That was so Jimmy.” She nodded again. “Why’d you let him talk you into drugs again?” She hung her head down, feeling ashamed. “Mysti, you can tell me anything.”

“I don’t know. He just showed up and before I knew it, we were out partying every night, doing coke. I was avoiding Nikki like the plague. I showed up for work one day and Kat made me leave, telling me I was either going back to rehab or getting fired. That night, Jimmy convinced me to try heroin after we had done a bunch of lines. I was so sick that night; I think I slept on the floor of the bathroom. He was gone the next morning.” She looked up at Dave. “Nikki showed up that morning and drug my sorry ass back to rehab. I was there for three months, got clean and started seeing a shrink who suggested therapy once a week along with NA meetings.” Dave got up and started putting the left overs in the fridge.

“So you upped and moved to Vegas?” He opened the fridge and took the food Mysteria handed to him.

“I went with Courtney, Nikki’s now fiancée, to a few of their residency shows and fell in love with the town. I’d been there before, but we’d go sightseeing while Nikki was rehearsing or doing Sixth Sense. I went back to LA and told Kat I was leaving, packed up my apartment and was in Vegas in less than a week. I’m renting a three bedroom house, have a full time job at a tatt shop on the strip where I pierce and tattoo. Haven’t touched coke in two years, Nikki goes to NA meetings with me when he’s in town or if I’m in LA. I do go back once in a while to see some old friends.” Mysteria grabbed a dishcloth from the drawer and stared at it as she wet it in the sink. It was the same dishcloth as her mom had had. Had Keegan not brought any of her own things? Memories of standing at the kitchen sink helping her mom wash and dry dishes after dinner flooded her and she grabbed the sink to steady herself.

“Mysti?” Dave came up behind her and put his hands on her waist in case she fell back. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine. Just got a little dizzy.” She moved away from Dave and washed off the table, her mind wandering to what else hadn’t been changed by Keegan. Was her bedroom just how she had left it? Was Keegan staying in the guest room? Was her parent’s room the same as it was the day that drunk asshole had hit them head on killing them both? She wanted to go upstairs and look, to investigate the house, but part of her was scared.

“Why don’t we go sit down in the living room and catch up?” He suggested taking the dishcloth from her and tossing it into the sink.

“Actually, I want to go upstairs and see if my room is the same as I left it.”

Mysteria headed for the front room where the stairs were that led up to the second floor. Family pictures still hung on the wall as you ascended the stairs. She stopped and looked at one of her and her parents and felt the tears well up in her eyes. It was the last picture that had been taken of all three of them together. She took it off the wall and stared down at it. “I’m taking this back to Vegas with me.” Dave said nothing and continued to follow her, stopping every now and then while Mysti looked at pictures and took another one off the wall of her grandparents. “This one too.” Dave nodded as if to prod her up the stairs some more. They finally reached the top and she turned to the left to go to her old room. He waited while she stood outside the closed door her hand shaking and all but touching the door knob. “I don’t know if I can do it.”

“Want me to do it?” He asked. She hesitated, and then nodded. He moved past her and opened the door, flipping the light on after. Dave went in first and stopped, waiting for Mysteria who stood in the doorway just staring at what used to be her room. It was the same except for a thick layer of dust covering everything. Her bed still unmade from the morning she had gotten up, clothes thrown about from when she was packing.

The air was stale and thick and they both coughed when Mysteria opened a dresser drawer disturbing the years of dust that had collected on top of it. She turned around in the middle of the room taking it all in. The posters on the wall that had yellowed from age, most of them falling down. She thought about just ripping them down, but stopped herself. The curtains were dusty and looked like they had seen better days. She wandered over to her old tape player and pressed play to see what the last tape she had listened to was. They both laughed when it was a tape Dave had given her from one of his garage bands he was playing in back then.

“Holy shit…pre Nirvana. I should take that from you.”

“I don’t think so.” She grinned and popped the tape out of the cassette player.

“Taking this with me too. Now if I could just find a box or a bag.” They both looked around and Dave caught a glance of a book bag in the closet. He grabbed it and noticed how heavy it was.

“What the hell do you have in here? Bricks?” She shrugged as he dumped it out on the bed. High school yearbooks fell out along with an old German book. “This do you any good?” He lifted it up and flipped through it.

“Not anymore.” She reached over and grabbed a year book and began flipping through it. Dave tossed the German book onto a pile of clothes on the floor and grabbed another year book. “Here you are…little miss cheerleader.” He held up the book and pointed at her. “Boy did you have everyone fooled. How many times were you caught smoking under the bleachers?”

“I lost count.” Mysteria laughed and sat down on the bed, immediately noticing how musty it smelled. She’d either be sleeping in Keegan’s room or on the couch that night. “I never got suspended. Unlike you and Jimmy.” Dave at next to her and they flipped through the pages, pointing out people and wondering out loud what was going on with them. “Ahhh…my senior picture.” She had grabbed another book and immediately flipped through to the seniors. “Of course, by that time, you and Jimmy had dropped out and you were living in Ohio.”

“Were you stoned in that picture?” Dave leaned down to look at it more closely. “I think you were!”

“I was not!” She leaned down and they bumped heads and laughed. She pushed him over and peered at the picture. “I look fine. Probably got stoned afterwards.”

“So I hate to bring this up and all, but I’m curious.” Dave closed the yearbook he had and tossed it on the floor with the others. “How’s Aliannah doing?” Mysteria sucked in her breath and immediately felt an anxiety attack starting. “Do you hear from her adoptive parents anymore?” Mysteria closed her eyes and laid back on the bed, she hadn’t thought about her daughter in years. “Mysti?”

“They found out I was in rehab the second time and stopped all contact with me. I have no idea how she’s doing. I haven’t tried to contact them. She knows who I am, if she wants to get ahold of me, she’ll find me.”

“Does she know about her dad?” Dave leaned back next to her and they both stared at the ceiling.

“I doubt it. He wasn’t there when she was born. My parents made sure of that. Chris and Joyce know who he was; it’s on her birth certificate. But he never was really interested in seeing her like I did when they let me. “She has her own life now; she’s 18 now, probably graduating high school if she hasn’t already. What does she need a biological ex-junkie mother in her life for?” They were both quiet for what seemed like 15 minutes until Mysteria sat up quickly. “Want to smoke a joint?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Dave stared at her, slack jawed.

“Hey, its doctor prescribed for my bipolar. Gotta love California.”

“Shouldn’t you call Nikki?” Dave watched Mysteria get up and head for the door. It was as if her mood switched too quickly for him to catch up.

“I’m smoking a joint, not snorting a line. He knows about the pot. C’mon, I’ve got it downstairs.” He followed her down stairs and into the kitchen where she grabbed her suitcase and rolled it into the living room. She sat down on the couch and dug through her bag.

“How in the hell did you get through airport security with pot?” Dave sat next to her and watched her roll a joint in front of him, then light it, taking a long hit before exhaling. She closed her eyes and let the anxiety be washed away. She handed it to him and he took it, examining it before taking a hit of his own.

“I have to carry my prescription card with me wherever I go.” She opened her purse and pulled out her wallet. She showed him the card and then put it back in her purse. “Another reason to go to LA on a monthly basis. It’s not legal in Nevada yet. Well medicinally anyway.” She leaned back on the couch as he passed it back to her. He watched her take another hit, realizing she was a pro at pot smoking. He had been too back in the day, but he only did it on rare occasions now. Especially not at home or around Jordyn and the girls.

It didn’t take long for Mysteria to feel the full effect of the joint. It never did. That medicinal marijuana she had been given the last time she was in LA was the best she had ever had. She looked at Dave; her eyes glazed over and grinned at him.
“So does this really help with the bipolar?” Dave asked, his own eyes looking a little glassy.
“More so with the anxiety.” She took the last hit before putting it out in an ashtray on the end table. “Believe it or not, I take lithium for the bipolar. It’s a bitch to go get my blood drawn every month to make sure my kidneys and thyroid function correctly.” She laughed and started humming Lithium by Nirvana. Dave began singing and she sang along and then they burst into laughter with Mysti falling into Dave from laughing so hard. They looked at each other and Mysti started to pull away when Dave pulled her closer to him softly kissed her. The first thought through Mysti’s mind was how soft his lips were, not that a married man was kissing her. That wasn’t anything new, she’d had her share of affairs over the years, but this was Dave. And Dave Grohl at that, not that his name or who he was really meant anything to her, they’d been friends forever. But having his lips touch her’s was something totally different.

“Dave…” She managed to whisper when he kissed her again.

“Shhhh…” He whispered back before deepening the kiss. Mysti’s mind was spinning and not just from the pot she had just smoked. Her mind was racing, which on a normal day was, well normal. Tonight, not so much. He pulled her onto his lap so that she was straddling him and ran his hands through her hair, pulling her closer to him so he could kiss her more. He couldn’t get enough of her for some reason and she was kissing him back just as passionately. “Stay with me tonight.”

“Here?” She asked pulling back just enough to look him in the eyes. They were lust filled. Hadn’t they just talked about nothing was going to happen between them and here they were making out on the couch like two high school kids?

“No, come back to my hotel with me.” He cupped her face and brought her lips to his again. She moaned against his lips as his tongue slipped between her lips, invading her mouth aggressively. They both knew what would happen if she went back with him and it seemed like they both wanted it.

“What about Jordyn?” Mysti asked.

“Way to ruin the moment.” Dave groaned and threw his head back against the couch. She re-positioned herself on his lap and put her hands on either side of his head and leaned so she was looking down at him. He looked away from her and she placed her hands on his cheeks, moving his head back so she could look him in the eyes.

“I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.” She whispered. “You’ve got a good going thing going with Jordyn and two beautiful little girls. One night with me could ruin everything and for what? A night reliving something that didn’t happen in high school?” His hands grasped her hair again, pulling her down to kiss her again before his lips trailed from her lips down her neck to her shoulder. Mysti’s head dropped back and she let out a moan.

“Tell me you don’t want this. You don’t want me and I’ll stop and leave. No questions asked.” His voice was huskier than usual as he nipped her neck. His hands moved under her shirt, stroking her breasts through her sheer bra. “Your body is saying one thing and your head is saying another.” He kissed her again, laying her down on the couch so he was over her. He pulled up her shirt and kissed the hollow between her breasts before running his tongue down her stomach to her belly button. He stopped and looked up at her. “Let me worry about my end of it. You tell me what you want; I already know what I want.” His tongue ran back up her stomach, kissing each breast before pulling her shirt down. “I’m going back to my hotel. Room 534. I’ll either see you or I won’t.” He leaned down and kissed her before getting up. She watched his from him the couch as he grabbed his coat, the remaining beer and stopped at the door. “Room 534. Just come straight up. I hope to see you.” With that said, he was gone.

Mysteria laid there for a moment before sitting up and shaking her head to try and clear her thoughts. Who knows how long she sat there before she heard her phone ringing “Dr. Feelgood” and she answered it without even questioning.

“Hey…just checking in with you. How you doing? No urges after the showing?” Nikki Sixx asked. Good ole’Nikki. He had become her lifesaver and one of her best friends. He was generally concerned for her and checked on her numerous times a day; even if it was just to say hey.

“I’m okay. Had a slight anxiety attack going into my old room. Smoked a joint, made out with Dave Grohl and he wants me to stay the night with him.” She said quickly hoping he wouldn’t pick up on the last part.

“Foo Fighters, Dave Grohl?” She groaned when he had caught on. “Mysteria, he’s married.” She heard Courtney ask who was married in the background and Nikki told her to be quiet and he’d tell her later. Courtney had become another close friend of Mysteria’s and they hung out whenever their schedules allowed. “I know you two go way back, but I can’t give you permission to do that.”

“Jesus Nikki, I’m not asking your permission.” Mysteria leaned over and picked up the rest of the joint out of the ashtray and lit it, inhaling what little was left. “I think I’m old enough to make my own decisions on who to ….” She exhaled and watched the smoke swirl in front of her.

“I know, I know. I just don’t want to see you get hurt. Not that Dave would hurt you.” Dave’s voice trailed off. “Are you smoking a joint?”

“What’s left of the one Dave and I had.” She leaned back on the couch and closed her eyes. She’d have to remember what the name of this batch was. They all had sorts of stupid name like ‘purple eyed monster ‘. “Hey, what was the name of the last batch I got when you went with me? This stuff is good.”

“Mysteria.” Nikki’s voice became very stern. She laughed at him. “Mysteria.”

“Whaaaaaaat?” She laughed. “C’mon Nikki, I’m high on pot, not coke.” He made an irritated sound and she sighed. “You are no fun sometimes.”

“DJ asked about you today. I told him you’d be back in LA on Friday. He’s going to be a Funny Farm with James and I working on the new album. I think it’s time you two finally went to dinner. Courtney and I’ll come along so you won’t be alone.”

“Nikki.” Mysteria protested. She hated blind dates. Even if she knew this guy. “You know how I hate you trying to set me up.”

“It’s dinner. Not a date. And James wants to talk to you about being in his new video. Just from the back and waist up because he says you have nice legs and butt.”

“Well if that isn’t a compliment, then I don’t know what is.” She took the last hit and stubbed it out in the ashtray. “Fine, I’ll switch my ticket from Vegas to LA as long as your ass is picking me up at the airport.”

“I’ll send DJ to pick you up.” Nikki laughed and hung up before Mysteria could protest. She hit end on her phone and looked around the living room. She wondered if she should drive. Technically, she wasn’t supposed to after she smoked, but she was curious. Her phone rang again, the ring tone the same as before.

“What now, Nikki?” She asked without saying hello.

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He laughed and hung up. Mysteria grinned and stood up. She knew exactly what she was going to do.

Twenty minutes later, Mysteria put her eye up to the peep hole on the hotel room door as she knocked. Dave was smiling as he opened the door and she stumbled inside. He grabbed her so she wouldn’t fall over and then took her suitcase, shoving it over to the side of the couch. She shook off her coat and threw her purse on the couch and turned to look at him.

“I didn’t think you’d come.” He took her hand and pulled her closer to him, kissing her. She felt her body fall into his as his lips and tongue teased her’s.

“Well, Nikki doesn’t approve.” She half laughed, half whispered.

“Screw him.” Was Dave’s response.

“Would rather not.” Mysteria reached up and started to unbutton his shirt. He walked her backwards until she felt the back of her legs touch the bed. He moved her hands and unbuttoned his shirt faster than she was and threw it on the floor. She stared at his body, for being 44; he had one hell of a nice body. She especially liked his tattoos. Of course, she’d be checking out his tattoos as he undressed himself and her. There was no foreplay, not that there needed to be. Dave was passionate, aggressive, and gentle, whatever he did, Mysteria responded instantly, almost automatically. Not to sound cliché’, but he was definitely the best lover she had ever had, but she wasn’t going to tell him that. At least she didn’t think she was. Then again, half the time she never knew what she was going to say.

They lay spent on the bed a few hours later; Mysteria rested her head on Dave’s chest, tracing the tattoo he had. He idly traced designs on her back with his finger tip. Neither said a word, but they both knew what each other thinking. What now? Was their friendship going to change because of one night? Would it be awkward if they ran into each other in the future?
“The bipolar in me wants to get tattoo.” Mysteria said randomly. Dave chuckled and watched as she sat up. “I’m serious.” He rolled on his side and looked at her, his eyes still lust filled. “Like to commemorate tonight.” She pulled her knees up to her chest. “Right here.” She pointed to a spot on her right foot. She jumped off the bed and hurried into the separate living room area and come back with a pad of paper and a pen. He watched her, amused at her energy and wondered if she was always this way after sex. Either that or she was still high from the joint earlier. She laid on the bed on her stomach and started sketching the Foo Fighters logo and then wrote III.IV.MMXIII beneath it. Dave stared at it, confused.

“What does that mean?” He asked watching her make small marks where she thought something wasn’t filled in correctly.

“March 4, 2013 in Roman numerals.” She said it like he should have known this information.

“How’d you know those?”

“I just did.” She shrugged. “Check your phone and verify it.” Dave leaned back and grabbed his cell phone from the night stand. After a few minutes he handed it to her and she had been right. “You know what would be better than the logo?” She rolled on her back and held the paper up in front of her, examining it.

“What?”

“Your autograph.” She laughed and sat up. “Oh my God, I sound like a groupie.” Dave took the paper from her and placed it on the night stand with his phone before pushing her back down and kissing her.

“You do exactly what we did earlier and I’ll sign whatever you want.” He whispered against her lips. She smiled as he grabbed her wrists and held them above her head, kissing her.

Dave woke up a few hours later to a buzzing noise coming from the other room. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes and sat up. Mysteria’s side of the bed hadn’t looked slept in at all. He could also smell pot, which he was hoping wasn’t drifting into the hallway. He pulled on a pair of jeans and headed for the other room. Mysteria was sitting on the couch, tattooing her own foot. He leaned against the wall and watched her. She was so focused that she didn’t notice that he was even awake and watching her. As requested, he had signed her foot where she wanted it with a sharpie. What surprised him was the fact that she carried her tattoo equipment around with her. Then again, when you were a tattoo artist, your equipment became an extension of yourself. He rarely left home without a notebook to write and sometimes his guitar.

“I’m done.” She said a moment later, wiping excess ink from her foot and then spraying something from a water bottle onto her foot and wiping it again with a paper towel. “Want to see?” She looked up at him and he nodded. He walked over to the couch and sat down next to her. She moved her foot onto his lap and he lifted it up and examined it. She had done an excellent job. His signature looked exactly like if he had signed it on a piece of paper. The Roman numerals were done perfectly straight right beneath his autograph. “Not bad for a self tat, huh?” She grinned at him as she moved her foot and leaned down to look at it again; tilting her head from side to side as if she was examining it to make sure it was perfect.

“You carry your equipment with you?”

“Always. You never know when someone is going to want a tattoo. Kat drilled that into me the first week I worked for her. I’d go with her to concerts and some band members would just randomly want something done and we’d whip out our equipment and get going.” Satisfied with her work, she started to take apart her tattoo gun so she could clean it. “You want anything done before I put it away?” He shook his head before leaning forward and kissing her quickly. She smiled at him. “Nikki is going to tell me I’m a groupie when he sees it.”

“So don’t show him.” Dave laughed.

“It’s on my foot! It’s kinda noticeable.” Mysteria grinned and finished cleaning her tattoo gun and put her supplies away.

“I’m curious.” Dave leaned back on the couch, pulling her down onto his lap so he could look down at her.

“Whether this is going to change our friendship?” She asked as he stroked her hair. He shook his head no. “Ummm….whether it’s going to happen again?” Dave laughed. “I mean other than like today or tonight or tomorrow before we leave.” He shook his head no again. “Then what?”

“What have you been doing with your life besides tattooing? Get married, get divorced, go to school? We haven’t seen each other in how many years and we need to catch up. Obviously you know what I’ve been up to, now it’s your turn. Dated anyone that I know?”

“Hmm…” Mysteria bit her lip. “Let’s see, two stints in rehab in LA. I stripped for a couple years to feed my coke habit. Had a few sugar daddies that paid my rent and also fed my coke habit. Believe me; I’m not proud of what I’ve done. No school after graduation. Hell that was an accomplishment in itself after having a baby and giving her up for adoption.” Dave nodded in agreement. “Almost got married, thankfully I didn’t. That was a bad relationship.” She was quiet for a moment. “As for dating anyone, not currently. According to Nikki, I’m going on a double date with him and Courtney on Friday. He said DJ keeps asking about me and then when I said I was switching my ticket from Vegas to LA, he was sending DJ to pick me up at the airport.” Mysteria rolled her eyes. “DJ just broke up with some girl with the last name Valentine. Dorothy I think her name was. I’ve met him a few times, just a hello more or less. Maybe a five minute conversation. He seems nice. My type, kinda.”

“And your type is?”

“Bad boy, tattoos, piercings, attitude.” She looked up Dave. “Total opposite of you. Well you now. Now you’re the nicest guy in rock and roll. Everyone says that.” Dave laughed at her comment. “I dated James Michael for about a year.”

“He’s in Sixx AM, right?” Dave asked. Mysteria nodded. “GNR was on tour, so DJ wasn’t around or I’d probably know more about him. James lives in Vegas and LA. Kinda commutes to where he needs to be. Nikki set us up too. He’s bound and determined to get me with someone long term. James and I hit it off right away. But his schedule got so busy that we didn’t see each other. It was like we had to make appointments with each other. He was writing and producing for Motley, Sixx AM, himself, and who knows who else. Nikki just told me last night that James wants me in his video for some new song of his. I think it’s called “Learn to Leave You” or “Learn to Love You.” I have it on my phone. We’re still good friends, hook up every now and again. I usually stay with him when I’m in LA.”

“So no more drugs.”

“Other than the pot, not at all. Nikki makes sure of it.” Mysteria sat up. “Haven’t even had the urge. Like I said before, the psych doc has me on so many damn meds; I have to worry about keeping up with those that I can’t even think about cocaine. Speaking of which, I have to take my meds.” She got up from the couch and he watched her naked form walk into the bedroom. He could hear her digging through her bag and the water running a minute later. She came back wrapped in the hotel robe that had been hanging in the bathroom. She sat back down and pulled her phone from her pocket and checked her text messages. “Both Nikki and James say hey.” She quickly responded and then laughed. “James just asked if I was being good and I should know what that meant. He’s obviously talked to Nikki.” Dave watched her respond back and then roll her eyes at the response. “Now he wants to know if I’m staying with him this weekend even though I’m going on that double date. I swear he’s a pain.”

“This whole thing isn’t going to get back to Jordyn is it?” Dave asked, suddenly feeling worried his wife, who he had never cheated on their entire marriage, was going to find out.

“Yeah, I’m going to Facebook her and tell her that while we were at a mutual friend’s funeral in Virginia for three days I screwed her husband’s brains out because we never did it in high school.” Mysteria said sarcastically as she tossed her phone onto the coffee table. “And don’t worry about Nikki and James. I have enough crap on them that they won’t even attempt to utter a word about you to anyone.” Dave laughed and reached over to untie the robe.

“You Mysteria, are a smart ass.” He leaned in and kissed her.

Chapter 2
The weather in LA was beautiful when she walked out of LAX. She was glad to be home and out of the winter weather back in Virginia. The funeral for Jimmy had taken her toll on her and the night of funeral, Dave held her most of the night while she cried. Now, much like she had when her parent’s died, she could push past and get on with her life. Dave and her had said their goodbyes that morning, promising to keep in touch, which she wasn’t sure if they would or not. If anything, they’d run into each now and then at award ceremonies if she did start dating DJ. If not, she was always James’ standby for a date when he went to those with Nikki.

“Hey sailor, you lookin’ for a date?” She stuck her head into the window of James’s rolled down window and grinned at him. He lifted his sunglasses and smiled at her. Thankfully Nikki had sent James to pick her up and not DJ, which would have been an awkward drive back to Nikki’s house.

“I don’t know, I’ve heard you’re one of the higher priced ones.” James got out of the car and put Mysteria’s luggage in his trunk before giving her a hug and a longer kiss than needed. “But if they say you’re as good as you are, I’m willing to pay.”

“Baby, you can’t afford me.” She poked him in the chest before he let go of her. He walked around to her side of the car and opened the door for her. “And who said chivalry wasn’t dead.” She buckled her seat belt and was already messing with the radio by the time he got back in the car. “So why are you in LA?”

“We’re writing for the new SIX AM record and I wanted you to be in my video.” He pulled out into traffic and noticed she was quiet. “What’s wrong?”

“Learn to Hate You?” she asked adjusting her sunglasses. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him nod. She bit her lip.

“Mysti, I know I wrote it after we broke up and it’s about you, but I’d really like you to be in it.” He reached over and put his hand on her leg. “You know I still care about you.” She nodded. She had been pissed the first time she had heard the song when he played it for her after he wrote it. He had written it out of anger and frustration when she walked out, even though it had been more or less a mutual agreement. She just hadn’t expected him to write their breakup into a song. Who was he trying to copy, Taylor Swift? They drove in silence and she noticed they were heading to his condo instead of Funny Farm. “Nikki and Courtney had something to do, so I thought we’d go back to my place and talk.”

“That’s fine.” Mysti watched out the window as the traffic turned into houses.

Twenty minutes later, they were pulling into his garage. He got her bags from the trunk and led her inside. He took them into his room. She walked through the living room, running her fingers over the ivory keys of his piano. She could play Tommy Lee’s intro to Motley Crue’s “Home Sweet Home” but that was the extent of her musical ability.

James walked up behind her and put his hands over her’s moving them to the correct keys for ‘Learn to Hate You’.

“Close your eyes and just listen.” He whispered in her ear. She did as she was told, letting his hands move her fingers over the keys. The song was full of hurt, sadness and a little hate which you could tell through the way the song was played, even without words. In the actual MP3 release there was drums and guitar, but he played the entire song on the piano for her. His fingers never lifting off her’s. When he was done, he removed his hands from her’s and wrapped them around her waist, hugging her back to him. “I never wanted you to go.”

“You know why we split. It was mutual.” She opened her eyes and stared down at the piano. James turned her around, they had never really talked about their split in complete detail, yet they’d wind up in bed together every now and then when they saw each other. Almost like the break up was really just a front or a way to avoid the fact that there was something more there than either one of them wanted to let on.

“Answer me this.” He looked her directly into her eyes. “Because you never responded when I told you.” Mysteria started to protest, knowing exactly what he was going to say. “Let me ask.” She closed her mouth, biting at her lip ring as she did when she was anxious. She realized she’d been doing that a lot lately. “I told you I loved you and you left the next day. Did you love me?” She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his chest. Why now? Why was he doing this now? She didn’t need this now. Not after Jimmy died, not after everything with Dave. Not that there was anything with Dave. It was just a lust filled three days that was more or less a release of years of built up sexual tension.

“Why are you asking me this now? Almost a year later? Can’t we move on? Shit, I’m going on a double date with Nikki on Friday who’s trying to set me up with DJ.”

“I can’t move on until I know.” He tilted her chin up so he could look her in the eyes. “I loved you Mysteria. I hadn’t loved anyone in a long time, not like that. I loved everything about you. Your flaws, your beauty, and the way you blew my mind in bed. Hell, I even loved the maniac periods when you’d go flying through the house telling me you were going to write my next record and were convinced you were a song writer. Or better yet, when we’d go out drinking and you’d get up and sing. You’d have Nikki almost rolling on the floor from laughing so hard.” They both smiled at each other remembering those good times. “And what about these?” He lifted both their right hands and flipped them over showing matching infinity tattoos that they had done together a few months after she had moved to Vegas. It was his idea, telling her that it would bond them in some way. If she remembered correctly, they were both stoned or drunk. Probably both. She quickly put her hand down. Wonder what he was going to say about her foot. “I know our schedules were hectic and we hardly saw each other, but you already knew this getting involved with a music producer. I was hardly ever home. Look at Nikki and Courtney. Do you think it’s going to be any better with DJ? He’s in two bands. He’s only in LA for three days before they leave for another part of the GNR tour that takes them out of the states for four months. That’s why we’re trying to get some recording done.”

“James.” She stepped back away from him and headed for the kitchen where she pulled a bottle of wine out of the fridge and opened it. He always kept her favorite in the fridge, even if was months before he saw her. She thought about drinking right from the bottle, but that would be tacky. Instead she grabbed a wine glass from the hanging rack and poured herself some. Out of habit, she pulled a beer from the fridge as she put the wine back and handed it to him since he had followed her into the kitchen. He opened it and took a drink, watching her sip her wine, lost in thought. She swirled the wine around in the glass, watching it slide around in the glass before looking up at him. “Yes, I loved you. No, I couldn’t handle you being all over the place and hardly with me. That’s another reason I keep coming up with excuses to Nikki about DJ. I don’t know if I want a relationship at the moment, especially with someone who’s on tour with numerous bands and only home for a day or two once every couple of months. It was hell when we were apart. I never fully trusted you. I’ve seen the groupies, the alcohol, and the drugs. I know what goes on while on tour. I remember going to England with Kat to see some band and all of them were married and there they were screwing a different woman or numerous women every night.” She sat down on a bar stool and put her head in her hands. “I’m going Friday just to get Nikki off my back. I’m not expecting anything to come from it other than DJ and I becoming friends.”

“You two could have become friends when we recorded the two albums, but you had moved to Vegas. DJ lives in Vegas now. It may work for you.” James leaned over the counter and set his beer bottle down. “I want to see you happy, Mysti. You deserve it.” He reached for her hand and was surprised that she took it. They interlocked their fingers together and looked at each other. “Even if it’s not with me.” She took a sip of her wine and set the glass back down. “You didn’t trust me?” She shook her head. “Not at all?”

“Maybe this much.” She held up fingers about an inch apart on her right hand and smirked at him. “I know you never cheated on me, that I was aware of or you’d fess up to. And I never cheated on you. It’s the whole anxiety thing.” He nodded, fully understanding what she meant. They had been together when she had been diagnosed and went with her to numerous doctor appointments. After numerous medications and changes, they seemed to have it under control for the most part, although there were nights she’d call him in the middle of the night and talk his ear off because she was maniac. He’d usually tell her to smoke one of her joints and try to sleep. The fun part was when she was maniac and with him for the night, that consisted of hours upon hours of sex. Which he was all for. What man wouldn’t be?

“I’m going to go relax in the tub if you don’t mind. I’m sure you have writing or mixing stuff to do.” He watched her refill her wine glass, this time to the top and put the bottle back in the fridge. “If you need me, I’ll be neck deep in bubbles.” The best part of his condo was the claw foot tub he had installed in the master suite bathroom. You could fit two people comfortably in it and still be able to sink all the way down. And the view looked out over the ocean. She could almost hear the tub calling for her. Or maybe it was just the voices in her head, but she was pretty sure it was the tub.

“I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” He stopped her as she headed out of the kitchen.
“We’ll talk more later, okay?” She sipped her wine again and nodded. He kissed the top of her head and watched her walk through the living room into the master bedroom. He leaned back against the counter and drank the rest of his beer in one gulp. He grabbed two more from the fridge and started for the stairs that led upstairs to his studio. He could hear Mysti playing “Learn to Hate You” and singing along with it as the water filled the tub. Some days he regretted writing that song. He could never hate her. And damn Nikki for trying to set her up with DJ, one of their closest friends. Nikki knew damn well that James wasn’t over Mysteria. Maybe this was his way of getting James to finally move on. But to parade it around right in front of him? He was going to have to have a talk with Nikki.

Mysteria stared out the window while the tub filled, she had the song “Learn to Hate You” on repeat on the iPad James had installed in the wall. She wasn’t sure what it was about him and Nikki installing iPads into walls that controlled everything. Nikki had told her that DJ started it, so when you were best friends, I guess one followed the other. Okay, she was kinda jealous. She had to go hunting for things in her apartment, when she stayed with James; she just went to an iPad in one of the rooms and punched in whatever she wanted. Spoiled much? When the water was high enough, she discarded her clothes and stepped in, letting out an audible “aaaahhh” as the hot water engulfed her body when she slid in up to her neck. The bubbles surrounded her and smelled like lilac, her favorite. She rested her head back and closed her eyes, enjoying this time alone. She listened to the song over and over, the words etching themselves into her brain, trying to imagine what James was envisioning for his video and where she would exactly fit in. It was about her leaving and him trying to let go. She reached out of the tub and grabbed her glass of wine, taking a sip before setting it down on the window sill.

The sun was setting and casting a beautiful glow throughout the bathroom. When the water started to get cold, she added more hot water and sank down lower. She wasn’t ready to get out of the tub yet. She loved the tub. What she hadn’t realized as she had been in there almost an hour and her fingers and toes were all wrinkled. With a sigh, she drained the water and got out, grabbing a towel from the shelf to dry off.

When she left the bathroom and went back into the master bedroom, she opened dresser and pulled out a pair of James’s boxers and a t-shirt. She had her own clothes, but they needed to go get thrown into the washer. She wrapped her hair in a towel and grabbed her dirty clothes from her suitcase and headed for the laundry room. She started the washer and then went into the kitchen and opened the fridge to see what she could make for dinner. Her stomach was rumbling from not eating anything all day. Of course, the only thing in the fridge was beer, wine and two 6 packs of wine coolers. She raised an eyebrow at the wine cooler and picked one up to inspect it. Smirnoff Peach Bellini. She knew damn well that James mostly drank beer, Nikki drank whatever was around minus the wine cooler and DJ was known to throw back of a bottle of Jagermeister himself, which was also in the fridge, half gone, she noticed. She felt a twinge of jealousy as she opened the wine cooler and sipped it. It wasn’t bad, but she wondered if James was seeing someone and these were her’s. She knew how to find out. She shut the fridge door, took the wine cooler and headed upstairs.

James was sitting in a chair tapping a pencil against his lips, nodding his head to the music playing and then he’d pause it and jot down something on the paper. He was lost in his music writer/producer mode and didn’t notice that she had sat down in the big arm chair and pulled her knees up to her chest and was watching him. He started humming something and he started writing like crazy, then scratching something out and rewriting it on then next line.

“Getting a lot done?” She asked finally. He looked up at her and smiled when he saw what she had on. He had always thought she looked sexy wearing his stuff.

“I’m co-writing a song with Kelly Clarkson and she had emailed me what she wrote and I’m just editing, adding, you know how I work.” He watched her take a drink of the wine cooler. “You like those? Courtney brought them over a week ago and never drank them.” Courtney, that would explain it. She felt the jealousy that had been ebbing at her lift off her chest. Why was she getting jealous? James had a right to date anyone he wanted to. Hell, one of the lyrics in the song said, “It’s a bitch making love without you.” Obviously he had been or was seeing someone.

“I was going to make dinner, but you seem to have only alcohol.” She took another drink. “And I’m not exactly dressed to go out.”

“Pizza?” James asked. She shrugged. “I’ll order it. The usual?” She nodded. He took out his cell phone and called the pizza place down the street. Twenty minutes later they were sitting in the living room eating pizza and drinking beer. Mysteria threw her pizza crust in the empty box and leaned back on the couch with her hand on her stomach.

“I feel like I’m going to be sick.” She groaned and glanced at James who was doing the same thing on the opposite side of the couch. She got up from the couch and took the pizza box with her, tossing it in the garbage and then going to swap her laundry from the washer to the dryer. “Do you want me to throw anything in the washer for you?”

“Old habits hard to break?” James asked. Mysteria jumped, not knowing her had followed her.

“I’ve always hated when you did that.” She leaned into the washer and got out her clothes and put them in the dryer. She turned the dryer on and turned to look at him. “Was that a yes or no?” He shook his head. “Okay, don’t say I didn’t offer.”
“Let’s go talk about the elephant in the room.” James took Mysteria’s hand and led her into the living room where they both sat back down on the couch.

“If you’re seeing elephants, I should give you some of my meds.” She laughed and looked at the clock. “Be back, med time.” She disappeared into the bedroom and came out a few minutes later.

“At least you’re staying on time with them. How are things going with that?” He watched her sit and tuck her legs beneath her. She shrugged.

“Take them every day at the same time, nothing new. Still have maniac episodes now and then.”

“I know, you call me.” He laughed and she smiled. “You still going to write my next album?” She shook her head and laughed. “What happened?” Mysteria ran her fingers through her hair, realizing she should have detangled it a while ago, also realizing she didn’t want to answer the question. “Do you know how you made me feel when I tell you I loved you and you walk out on me the next day?”

“We had talked about splitting up for weeks. It wasn’t working with you being gone all the time. You were mostly in LA, I was permanently in Vegas. You’d go to the east coast.”

“I bought a place in Vegas.”

“For what? You’re hardly in Vegas.”

“It was for us. I wanted us to move in together.”

“You never said that when you bought it.” Mysteria examined a split end, purposely not looking at him. “And I would still have been alone to begin with. You live mostly here.”

“I bought a house in Michigan too.”

“Well isn’t that even more perfect.” Mysteria dropped the strand of hair and looked at him. “James, it never would have worked. Long distance relationships never do.”

“Nikki and Courtney work fine.”

“Jesus Christ!” Mysteria yelled and got up from the couch. “I’m sick of hearing about Nikki and Courtney! We’re not Nikki and Courtney! You need to realize this and so does Nikki. He wants me to be with someone so I’m not alone. Well maybe I want to be fucking alone! Maybe you telling me that you loved me, scared the shit out of me because I hadn’t loved anyone in my entire life other than Jimmy and he fucking killed himself! I’m fucked up James, there’s no way around it!” She paced the living room, feeling extremely anxious and she was out of her medicinal marijuana which pissed her off. She’d have to go the next day and get some since it was time for a “refill” anyway. If she went maniac, James would just have to deal with it like he had so many other times. “I’ve got such a fucked up life, why the hell would I want to drag someone else into it?”

“Mysteria, I’ve been with you through a lot. What’s the first memory you have of us?” James asked.

“What are we in a fucking therapy session?” She asked stopping to look out the window before starting to pace again. He raised an eyebrow at him and she threw her arms up in the air. “First memory? The first time you kissed me during a photo session at Funny Farm.”

“Want to know what the first memory for me was?” he asked. She stopped and crossed her arms over her chest and shrugged. James stood up and crossed the room to her. “Hearing your voice on the phone the first time when I called Nikki and you answered because he was in the middle of a photo shoot. Your voice surprised me, but it had me mesmerized. I wanted to hear it more, so I hung up and called back.” She laughed, remembering that day. She told Nikki whoever James was his caller ID was a psychopath because he kept calling and hanging up. “Then when I got to match the voice to the face that afternoon, I was even more mesmerized. There was something about you that I needed to know more about. Nikki noticed it right off the bat.”

“We’re not Nikki and Courtney.”

“No, we’re James and Mysteria.”

“We’re not even that.” She stepped back from him and headed for the bedroom. “I’m going to bed.” James dropped his head down and sighed. He didn’t go to bed with her. Instead, he went upstairs and worked on his music until almost three in the morning, then went to bed. Mysteria was sound asleep, taking up most of the bed. He undressed and crawled in next to her, she immediately responded and wrapped herself around him as he pulled the blanket over them and fell asleep, his nose filled with the smell of lilac that he’d missed so much.

Chapter 3

The next morning, they were awoken by James’s iPad announcing that Nikki was requesting FaceTime with him. With a grown, he grabbed it from the night stand and hit connect. Mysteria groaned and pulled a pillow over her head.

“Dude, it’s 8:00am.” James said when it connected.

“Is Mysteria with you? I tried calling her and she’s not answering the phone.”

“I’m right here.” Mysteria said from beneath the pillow, her voice muffled. James tilted the iPad so Nikki could see Mysteria after he yanked the pillow from her head. “Can’t people sleep, Nikki?”

“Not when they have an AA meeting at 10 and she has to go pick up her prescription.”

“Why is it that you know my schedule better than me?” She asked as James moved closer to her so that they were both in the picture on the iPad that James was holding above them.

“Oooh…you’re such a groupie. First Dave and then James. Watch, I’ll call you Saturday and I’ll wake you and DJ up.” Nikki laughed. “I’ll be there in an hour to pick you up.” Then he disconnected from Face Time.

“I hate him.” Mysteria rolled on her side away from James who put the iPad back down and then curled up behind her. “Why would he think that I’d sleep with DJ? And he called me a groupie! You and I always sleep in the same bed when we’re together. That doesn’t mean we actually had sex.”

“So did you sleep with Dave?” James asked, his breath against her neck.

“Yes.” She rolled on her back and looked up at him. There was no point in lying to him. “A couple times.” James smiled. “What?”

“I figured you did.”

“How?” She asked. James reached under the blanket and grabbed her foot. “Hey!!” He laughed and gave her a kiss letting go and getting out of bed. “So, since I was honest with you, you be honest with me.” She watched him head into the bathroom and come out a minute later. “Who have you been sleeping with?”

“Not famous guys from bands.”

“I’d hope it wasn’t guys from bands.” Mysteria kneeled on the bed and motioned for him to come closer to her. He walked closer to her and she made him kneel down with her. “The lyric, ‘it’s a bitch making love without you’, who have you been making love with?” James looked away from her. There had been a few women here and there, but no one that he could compare to Mysteria. “James.”

“No one worth mentioning.” He got up and left the room. He came back a few minutes with a clothes basket full of her clothes and sat them down on the bed. She started pulling them out and folding them. She watched him as he walked around the room, stopping to look out the window. “I tried moving on, her name was Brandi. She was a stripper.”

“Did her name end in an i?”

“Yeah, why?” He turned and looked at her.

“Stripper.” She laughed. “Mysti ends in i, I was a stripper.” He moved away from the window and came back to the bed where she was finishing up her clothes. He pulled her up off the bed and pulled his t-shirt off of her. His hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs running over her nipples, making them hard. “James.” His lips brushed her neck and shoulder blade and she felt chills go through her. Damn him, he always could make her feel that way. He started to lay her back on the bed and she pushed at his chest. “No.”

“Why?”

“Nikki is going to be here to pick me up in like a half hour.” She moved away from him and headed for the bathroom. “If you’re a good boy, you can shower with me and wash my back.”

“How could I pass up washing the girl of my choice?” James followed her into the bathroom. “I get to touch parts for free that I’d usually have to pay extra for.”
“You’re an ass.” Mysteria laughed turning on the shower and stepping out of his boxers that she had been wearing. Another good thing about his bathroom was the huge walk in shower that had like 12 jets that hit you from all sides plus two waterfall shower heads. She seriously could live in his bathroom. A mini fridge and TV is all she’d need. James got in and immediately pulled her to him, letting the water fall down on top of them. His lips pressed against hers and kissed her deeply. It had been almost six months since they had been together. “James, we can’t.”

“A quickie, we can.” He lifted her up against the wall, her legs wrapping around his waist as he entered her. She closed her eyes as he moved in and out of her, his lips latching onto her neck. He mind was screaming slut at her. But this was James. James she had had a relationship with for a long time. This wasn’t a one night, okay, three day period of hot sex with Dave Grohl. This was almost natural with him. They’re bodies knew each other, reacted to each other. They even came together. It would have lasted longer if Nikki hadn’t had walked into the bathroom and pounded on the shower door, scaring them both.

“Seriously?” Mysteria asked as she unwrapped her legs from James and stood upright. “You let him have a key?”

“He knows the code.” James walked over to the door of the shower and opened it enough to peek out. “Give us 10 minutes and she’ll be down.”

“That’s all it takes you?” Nikki asked with a laugh. “I’ll see you downstairs.” James shut the door and looked at Mysteria who was washing her hair.

“We’ll finish later.” James went to her and picked up a soap sponge and soaped her up.

“Maybe.” She said tilting her head back beneath the spray to wash out the shampoo. Water ran down between her breasts and he felt himself growing hard again. He thought about taking her again right there in the shower, but knew Nikki was waiting and an AA meeting was more important than another quickie in the shower. “Are you going to Funny Farm?”

“More than likely.” He watched her reach for the conditioner she kept on the shelf
.
“Okay, I’ll go back with Nikki instead of coming here. Although, he does know the code.” She winked at him and he smiled. “Their argument from last night seemed to be forgotten. Perhaps a friends with benefits situation was all they were going to have. At least for the time being. But that would end if she started seeing DJ. “What are you looking at me like that for?”

“I was just thinking.” He watched her go to the door and open it, stepping out to grab a towel. “Of what I need you to do in the video.” He hated lying to her. He already knew what he needed her to do. It wasn’t that big of a part. Her walking across the street and up the stairs of the house he had bought in Michigan, setting bags down, knocking and ringing the door bell a few times. Peering through the glass and at the end, picking up her bags and walking away. The last scene would be him ending the song on the piano and then staring at the door as if he had heard something. It was all drawn out on a story board and he was just waiting for the weather to clear up in Michigan before he flew them out to shoot. He wanted Nikki to direct it and tape it. He also wanted Nikki to take some photos of Mysteria so that he could have them placed around the house. Perhaps some of the two of them. Maybe he could get that done today. He noticed the faint smell of lilac as Mysteria left the bathroom and he grabbed the bottle of shampoo and took a whiff. He put it back then faced the shower head, placing his hands on either side of the wall and let the water hit him in the face. Damn what she did to him. Would he ever get over her?

“You’re a jerk, you know that, right?” Mysteria said as they drove to the AA meeting. Nikki laughed and exhilarated the car. “You don’t just go walking into someone’s house and then their bathroom! Have some respect!”

“Why? Did I interrupt something?” Nikki laughed as he moved through traffic on the expressway without slowing down. Mysteria gripped the door handle. “Someone forget their anxiety medicine today?”

“No, I just hate how you drive. It’s like you’re in a rush to get everywhere. We don’t have to be there for an hour.”

“And James lives an hour away.” Nikki glanced at her. “So what were you two doing anyway, little miss groupie?” She glared at him through her sunglasses. “Oh give it a rest, Mysti. I saw your foot when you were coming down the stairs. I have to give you shit about something. First those infinity tattoos on your wrists with James and then Dave’s autograph on your foot? Do you want me to autograph something on you too since we’ve slept together?”

“I’d rather forget that night.” She looked out the window.

“I wasn’t that bad was I?”

“We were both strung out on coke. I don’t remember much of it.” She refused to look at him. She had never told James about that night she went home with Nikki. He had shown up at the club she was stripping at and requested her to dance for him in the VIP room, which meant a little more than just VIP at that club. Again, not one of the finer points of her life. He gave her the required $500 for a completely nude lap dance in a private booth and the lap dance became more than just a lap dance. After her shift was over, he was waiting for her in the parking lot. They went back to his house and did some lines of coke and finished off the night. She left the next morning, not ever expecting to see him again and here he was one of her best friends a few years. “Did you tell Courtney or Kat for that matter since you were dating her at the time?”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” He laughed. “Did you tell James?” She shook her head. “Then it’s our little secret. But I wouldn’t be opposed to you getting a tat to remember it by. Maybe a piercing in a certain spot? Oh wait; you already have that, don’t you.” He looked at her with a grin. “Fun times. Or did you get rid of it?”

“Still there.” She continued watching the cars go by on the freeway. “You’re still a jerk.”

“I’ve been called worse.” He took the ramp off the freeway and headed for the building the meeting was in. She hated going to these things and he knew it. But it actually helped both of them. Even though he was her sponsor, she believed that he went with her to help himself stay clean as well. Sometimes the “dragon” was hard to resist and Nikki had been at it longer and harder than she had, so she could only imagine what he had to go through at times. There were days she would just get the urge and she’d call him crying, just wanting a little to get her through the day. If she had those days, imagine what his would be like. Not only was he doing coke, but he had been doing heroin and coke together and shooting up. Thankfully after that first experience she had with heroin, she never touched the stuff again. Tommy Lee told her he had a similar experience and she remembered reading it in Nikki’s book about how bad Nikki got involved with it and his stints in rehab.
The meeting hall was packed as usual. Mysteria and Nikki grabbed seats in the back as they usually did and she watched Nikki pull his hat down further on his head.

“It’s not like they don’t know who you are, dumbass.” Mysteria elbowed him.

“We’ve only been coming for two years.
”
“A little privacy would be nice.”

“Gee, I was just telling someone that this morning. Who was that?” She nudged him again and he grinned at her. They listened to the new people and didn’t contribute to the session. Mysteria preferred it that way. She only contributed if she had something to contribute, which wasn’t often. Nikki hardly said anything. But if he caught her looking at her phone or her eyes wandering around, he’d give her a sharp jab in the ribs to make her pay attention. He was very strict about her listening and not screwing around. Sometimes she felt like he was her father more than her friend.

“Now onto your psych appointment.” Nikki checked his phone.

“What psych appointment?” Mysteria checked her own phone and it said prescription refill. Nikki opened her door for her and shut it after she got it. Crap, she forgot each time she went for a “refill” she had to go to the doctor because it was a controlled substance. Now she got to sit through a 45 minute psych session about how’s she’s doing. She hoped Nikki didn’t want to come in with her like he did sometimes.

After sitting in the waiting room for a half hour, she was called back. Thankfully Nikki was texting on his phone and showed no interest in going back with her. She went back to her doctor’s office and took a seat. She had always imaged a psychiatrist having a couch that you laid on so they could psychoanalyze you like you saw in the movies, but her doctor had a nice office with candles burning and plants and soft chairs you sank into.

“And how are you Mysti?” Dr. Lang asked.

“Good. Well, good as can be. I just got back from a funeral in Virginia. My exboyfriend overdosed and killed himself.” She watched Dr. Lang flip through her notes looking confused. “Not James, Jimmy. From high school. James is actually doing well; I’m staying with him right now. At least through Saturday.”

“Are you two back together?”

“No. We just now started discussing why we split. I kinda went off on him last night. Pent up aggression I suppose. And then Nikki is trying to set me up with one of his friends this Friday night and I just don’t know if I want a relationship right now. DJ is in two bands and tours all the time. I’m in Vegas; he’s all over the place.”

“Are you scared of a relationship?”

“Yes and no.” Mysteria crossed her legs and looked out the window. “It’s easier to be friends with benefits, like James and I are. It’s not based soley on sex. We can go out and have fun and if it happens, it happens.” She thought of this morning and smiled. “There’s no pressure at all.”

“What are you smiling about?” Dr. Lang asked. “Something happen this morning?” Mysteria nodded. “How’d that make you feel after arguing with him the night before?” Mysteria snapped her head back toward the doctor. She hadn’t thought about that. Her face scrunched up in a confused look. “Mysteria?”

“While I was in Virginia, I had a three day fling with a guy from high school. He’s in a very well-known band right now, so I’m not going to say who. However, that just was like pent up sexual frustration from not doing anything in high school and for those three days it was wonderful. Minus the fact this happened while we were in town for a funeral. But it was great. I had a manic period and made him sign my foot and I tattooed it. So I’ll always remember it. Then with James this morning, it was….” Her voice trailed off. “Familiar, comforting. It was James; we knew how we’d react to each other. He left me wanting more.” Dr. Lang jotted down notes.

“I’m having hypersexuality manic period aren’t I?” Dr. Lang nodded.

“Are you taking your lithium and Xanax? She asked. Mysteria nodded. Dr. Lang wrote out a prescription for another prescription. “I’m giving you two months of each, that way you don’t have to come back in a month. And two months on the medicinal cannabis. You can pick it up when you leave downstairs at the clinic. I’ll give you two months of that as well.” She slid the scripts across the desk to Mysteria. “Other than that, how are the mood swings?”

“Up and down. The manic periods are annoying. I call James all the time at night and he laughs at me, tells me to smoke a joint and go to bed. If I’m with him, we end up having sex all night or I’m running through the house cleaning, writing, drawing, telling him I’m going to become a writer. He thinks they’re funny.”

“Any urges?”

“Nope. Not even when I’m manic. Nikki and I just came from an AA meeting.” Mysteria tucked her slips into her purse.

“Mysteria, before you leave. As long as you’re in this hypersexual manic state. If at all possible, stay with James. We know he’s safe in more than just a relationship way. You’ve both been tested.” She stood and walked Mysteria to the door. “I’ll see you in two months, okay?” Mysteria nodded, laughing to herself that her psychiatrist was giving her the okay to go ahead and have sex with her ex-boyfriend.

Nikki was waiting for her, but he was on the phone with someone when she came out. She motioned to him to wait a moment and she made her next appointment. Knowing how she was, the receptionist made out two cards and Mysteria tucked one in her purse and handed the other one to Nikki. She must think he was her brother or something. He definitely wasn’t old enough to look like her father. Maybe she thought that he was her sugar daddy. She’d be damn lucky to have Nikki Sixx as her sugar daddy. Today, however, Nikki looked like any other guy on the street. It was funny how he could blend in, but not blend in. He was just Nikki and that was one of the reasons why they were friends. They could take the good and the bad of each other.

“Who you talking to?” Mysteria asked as they went downstairs to pick up her medicinal cannabis. “What was the kind I got the last time?”

“Purple Krush.” Nikki said to her and then went back to talking on the phone. She pulled out her prescription, her prescription card and told the guy at the counter what she wanted. Five minutes later she was set and they were on their way to Funny Farm. Nikki’s home away from home. He created Funny Farm with DJ, but yet, DJ and her had never spent any real time together. More than likely due to him being in two bands. Nikki put his cell phone down and glanced at Mysteria. “Now keep your mind open.”

“Shit…what now?” Mysteria asked.

“Mysti, I said keep your mind open.” Nikki got on the freeway and turned down the radio. “James wants you in his vide and I’m assuming you’ve said yes.”

“More or less.” Mysteria turned in her seat so that she could look at Nikki. “Why?”

“He wants me to do a photoshoot of the two of you, so that those pictures could be used around the set. There’s one specific one that I want to do, but I don’t know if you’d do it or not.”

“Oh hell, throw it at me.” Mysteria adjusted her sun glasses as the sun shown down through sun roof of his car.

“Picture this.” He took his hands off the steering wheel and started steering with his knee, holding his hands up like a frame.

“I’d like to picture you putting your hands back on the steering wheel.” Mysteria faced forward again. Nikki put his hands on the steering wheel. “Thank you. Dying on the 405 doesn’t sound like fun today.”

“Anyway, I have this picture in my head of you and James. Him standing behind you, you both nude, his arms wrapped around you from behind, covering everything and you looking up at him and the two of you kissing.” Mysteria’s mouth dropped open in surprise. “I was thinking blowing it up to like 11x14 or bigger and having it hang in the stairway on one of the walls going upstairs. Oh wait; you haven’t seen the new house have you?”

“Nikki!” Mysteria stared at him in shock. “She’d done topless photos for him, but not completely nude. “This is a video shoot.”

“No, today is a photo shoot.” Nikki corrected her. “Just think about it. So how’d the doctor’s appointment go?” She leaned her head back on the seat and closed her eyes. His mind moved faster than her’s sometimes that she wondered if he wasn’t bipolar himself. She shook her head. Nikki was just being Nikki.

Chapter 4

James was already at Funny Farm along with DJ when Nikki pulled into the driveway. They were both sitting outside drinking beer in the sun. Mysteria got out of the car and grabbed her prescription bag from under Nikki’s passenger seat and took it over to James’s car and shoved them under the passenger seat, knowing full well she was going to need a joint. Soon.

“Hey.” A voice said from behind her. She looked over her shoulder and saw DJ. “I heard you’re doing a photo shoot today. I thought I’d stop by and see how things are going.” She peered at him through her sunglasses. Couldn’t Nikki keep his mouth shut? That must have been who he was talking to on the phone while she was getting her meds.

“Yeah, with James.” She emphasized James’ name. “For his video.”

“He said he wrote that after the two of you split. You still split?” Dj leaned against the car and watched Mysteria pull the bag out and start rolling a joint. She could feel a panic attack coming on and damn if she could find her Xanax in her purse. She wondered if it rolled out under the seat in Nikki’s car. “Medicinal or off the street?”
“Do I look like I’d buy off the street?” She snapped, which she hadn’t meant to. DJ stared at her. “Sorry. Medicinal.”

“She’s bipolar.” James walked up to them. He took the joint from her and lit it, taking a hit before handing it back to her. She took a long hit herself and held it in for longer than was probably needed before exhaling. The sweet smell filled the air and she offered it to DJ who took a hit then handed it back to James. Between the three of them, they finished it off within 10 minutes. Mysteria didn’t even bother asking Nikki who was on the phone again, sitting on top of a picnic table watching them. He didn’t approve of her sharing, but it was her’s so he couldn’t really say anything. He’d smoked with her a few times, but he didn’t do it as much as James did with her. “Just in case she goes off on you for no reason, you either pissed her off or she doesn’t realize she did it.”

“Oh, I’ll know why I went off on you. Just like I went off on you last night.” She looked at James and smiled. “Yep, this was the right stuff. I’m not anxious anymore. Let’s go do the shoot.”
“
You feeling better?” Nikki asked as Mysteria walked past him into the studio, followed by DJ and James.

“Over the moon.” Was her response as she went into the “makeup” room that was off to the side of the main photography room. She sat down in the chair and let Courtney, who had been hiding inside the entire time fix her hair and make up.

“So, what do you think of DJ?” She whispered quietly. Mysteria looked at Courtney in the mirror as she brushed out Mysteria’s hair and then started straightening it with the flat iron. The pink is going to look really good with your hair straight.

“DJ is okay, I guess. We’ve said a couple words to each other, smoked a joint. Pretty sure we’re getting married by the end of next week.”

“Well you don’t have to be sarcastic, Mysti.” Courtney tapped her on the head with the straightener. “You and Nikki were gone for a long time this morning. Did everything go okay? You haven’t relapsed or anything have you?”

“Nope. I didn’t realize I had a psych appointment. Leave it up to good ole’ Mr. Sixx to remind me.” They both laughed and made idle chit chat while Courtney finished Mysteria’s hair and make up. “So, what am I supposed to wear or not wear?” Courtney looked around the room and grabbed a robe from the coat hanger.

“Put this on for now. I know he wanted a few different types of shots. He had me grab a few things that I thought you’d look good in from my closet. Thank God we’re the same size.” She smiled at her. Courtney was an extremely sweet woman and Mysteria was generally happy that Nikki had finally proposed to her. Courtney had asked her to be a bridesmaid in their wedding and she had gladly accepted, but the date hadn’t been set yet. “I’ll let you finish getting dressed, well undressed.” They both laughed and Courtney left the room. Mysteria undressed, laying her clothes on a chair and wrapping herself in the robe. She looked in the mirror and applied a little more mascara and lipstick, blotted her lips and then headed into the main room to see what ‘vision’ Nikki had come up with while she was gone.

The room had soft lightening and instead of the usual black, red and skulls, there were soft whites draped over the furniture, it was almost romantic. James was walking around in a robe as well, except he had on his boots.

“Now, that makes you look so hot.” Mysteria nodded at his boots and he winked at her. “Did you have anything to do with this bright idea of Nikki’s or was this all his?” James had walked closer to her and touched her straight hair. “Don’t mess up the hair, Courtney will kill you.”
“I will!” Courtney called over from where she was helping Nikki set up the camera. Mysteria could see DJ sitting in a director’s chair just watching everything, occasionally texting on his phone.

“I just wanted to see your gorgeous naked body again.” He leaned down and whispered in her ear, his lips brushing her cheek before gently nipping at her ear lobe.

“Well guess what; my shrink gave me permission to have as much sex with you as I wanted.” She laughed quietly. “Seems I’m in a hypersexual manic phase.”

“Bonus.” James grinned. “So you won’t mind if something accidently slips somewhere during the photo shoot.”

“We’re not shooting porno.” Mysteria laughed.

“There’s times I can’t keep my hands off you, Mysti.” He kissed her lightly so he wouldn’t smudge her lipstick, and then went to see what Nikki and Courtney were doing. Mysteria looked around and took a deep breath when she saw the only other chair that was available was next to DJ. She went over and sat down, cross her legs and bouncing her foot.

“New tatt?” DJ asked looking at her foot as it bounces. “Looks fresh.”

“It’s about four days old.” She said hoping she wouldn’t have to explain it. DJ leaned down and looked at it closer.
“You know Dave Grohl?” He asked surprised. She nodded. “That’s cool. He’s a cool guy.”
“We’ve been friends since high school.” Mysteria uncrossed and recrossed her legs.

“I hear you’re going on tour again.”

“Yeah with GNR, we leave Saturday.” He pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered her one. She took it and he lit it for her. “You been to Sturgis?” She nodded. “We’re supposed to play there again, but Axl really messed that one up when he showed up two hours late.”

“You should try to keep your lead singer under control. He’s extremely narcissistic.” Mysteria took a drag from her cigarette.

“He’s not that bad anymore.” DJ looked her over, the top of the robe was slightly undone and he could see the curvature of her breast, which looked quite nice. He wondered if they were real since she had been a stripper. Nikki had given him the entire run down on her, almost like he had her vetted for a job. Then Nikki still had his paranoia moments at times. Flashbacks, DJ supposed. “So what’s the story with you and James? I thought you split.”

“We did. Like a year ago. He wrote ‘Learn to Hate You’ about me.” Mysteria looked around for something to put her cigarette out in and found an empty pop can. It sizzled as dropped it in. He nodded. “We’re still friends.”

“Close friends.”

“Best.”

“That going to interfere with anything that happens between us?”
“What do you think is going to happen between us?” She turned and looked at him. “I’m curious.”

“Go out Friday night, have a good time. Hopefully become friends and see where it goes. That’s why I was asking about you and James. You two seem pretty close.”

“We are.” She said as Nikki yelled for her that he was ready. She got up from the chair and walked over to a chaise lounge that Nikki had moved into the room.
Nikki was in full photographer mode. He had James lay on his back on the chaise lounge and Mysti straddle him. Courtney draped a white sheet around their waists so nothing was showing.

“You know I have a nude thong.” Mysteria said to Nikki as he moved her arm so that it wasn’t covering a certain part of James’s chest.

“Nude works better.” He walked around the lounge looking through his camera.

“Mysti, lean down so that your hair covers your breasts and you’re just hovering over James’s face, almost like you’re going to kiss him. Courtney, fix her hair so that her breasts aren’t showing. We want it to be a classy nude, not a porno nude.”

“Told you no porno.” Mysteria whispered to James, her lips just grazing his. She felt him grind his hips against hers and she smacked him on the chest with a laugh.

“Quit fucking around you two or we’re going to lose the natural light.” Nikki moved closer to them so that the camera was right on their faces. “Look into each other’s eyes, like you’re in love. Mysti, lean back just a little.” Mysti moved as she was told, Courtney hurrying to cover her breasts with her hands. “James, put your hand on her hip and then one caressing her back. James’s hand moved to her back and Mysti’s head involuntary fell backward at his touch. She heard Nikki’s camera go off. “That was incredible. So natural.” The shutter on Nikki’s camera went off a few more times. “Now, James lay on your side and Mysti move in front of him like you’re spooning, but lean back into him so that the two of you are looking at each other James place a hand between her breasts, but not touching them.” Courtney rearranged the sheet and Mysteria’s hair. “Mysti reach up and caress James’s face.” She did and James closed his eyes a her touch, again, the camera went off. “You two are natural together. Let’s do the one I was talking to Mysti about in the car, but we’re going to have you stand behind he chaise.
Mysti grabbed the robe and pulled it on before Courtney removed the sheet. James hurried behind the chasise and motioned Mysti to him. She went to him and he disrobed her and looked her over.

“Enough with the googly eyes.” Nikki made Mysteria turn around and raise her arms up around James’s neck. His arms went around her waist, covering the front of her stomach and the chaise covered everything else. Courtney rearranged Mysti’s hair to cover her breasts and Mysti looked up into James’s eyes as he looked down at her. “Kiss her.” James moved his lips to hers, the multiple clicks of Nikki’s camera the only sound in the room. James’s tongue slid between her lips and Mysti happily accepted it. “Damn you two, make out session is over.”

“Sure you don’t want to leave the room for about a half hour?” James asked Nikki and Courtney who both laughed as Courtney handed Mysti a robe. James kissed Mysti one more time before Courtney led her to the changing room to change into some outside candid shots. On the way back to the room, Mysti noticed that DJ was gone. She hadn’t even noticed that he had left.

Nikki had James and Courtney change into more casual clothes that fit their personalities and out came the skulls again. Nikki had a chair that looked like a throne that was a deep blood red. He had had James sit in it and then Mysteria straddle his lap and lean backwards while James held her hips to keep her from falling backward. Nikki took multiple photos at different angles before having Mystera sit sideways on James’s lap and throw her legs over the side of the chair and give the camera a lusty look as James looked like he was unbuttoning part of her shirt.

“I feel like I’m doing a porno.” Mysteria laughed as Nikki got right in her face with the camera and told her to slightly open her mouth, like she was playing with her tongue and lip ring. The camera clicked and then he took separate pics of each of them before going outside and doing more casual/candid shots in the yard, such as when James chased her through the yard and then grabbed her from behind and they started laughing. Nikki was able to immortalize that moment for them.

“Do you guys want to stay for dinner? I’m making chicken marsala when we get back.” Courtney asked. James looked at Mysteria who shrugged. “Good! We haven’t seen you guys in awhile!”
When they got back to Nikki and Courtney’s, Mysteria went with Courtney to the kitchen and started helping her with dinner. Courtney loved to cook and did it as much as she could. Mysteria on the other hand, usually at take out. She often wondered how she stayed so thin. Must be all the meds she was on.

“So, was the funeral nice?” Courtney asked. Mysteria spun on a bar stool, feeling antsy.

“Yeah. Ran into an old friend.”

“Nikki told me.”

“Nikki can’t keep his mouth shut.”

“Well it’s not like I’m going to announce it to James that you slept with Dave Grohl.”

“I already know.” James walked into the kitchen with Nikki and they both grabbed a beer from the fridge. “Seems our little psychopath is having a hypersexual episode right now, so her doctor gave her permission to have sex with me.” He moved up behind Mysteria who was leaning over the counter and ran his hand down her back, causing her to close her eyes and arch her back.

“Do you keep your mouth shut about anything?” She turned her head and looked at him.

“I go through spots of that, don’t I Court?” Nikki leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek. “And I’m not even bipolar. I just want sex. Nothing wrong with that. Especially after a long tour. Nothing to be ashamed of. It’s natural.”

“I don’t think it’s natural to think about it 24x7 and think about dragging James into the bathroom right this minute.”

“Feel free.” Nikki pointed in the direction of the spare bath off the living room.

“Dinner can wait.” Mysteria laughed at him and leaned back into James who kissed the top of her head. “At least you’re not going to swingers clubs or something like that. I’ve read about people who have sex obsessions and they end up sleeping with 60-70 guys over their lifetime if not more. You’re at least keeping with one.”

“We both got tested when she started having her first symptoms of it.” James sat down on a bar stool pulling Mysti down with him. She situated herself on his lap and looked at him. “At first we thought it was just a manic episode, but it got worse, she’d leave work, come to my house and we’d have sex for a couple hours and then she’d leave and go back to work and then come back again. I wasn’t complaining, but it got to the point where we were having sex up to 10 times a day if not more. I told her to bring it up with her doctor and she explained it to us, had us go get checked for any STDs and when she gets into these episodes, she come stays with me or vice versa.”

“Except for Dave.” Mysti reminded him. “He was the only one outside of you that it’s happened with.” James nodded, feeling a twinge of jealousy.

“Ever have a threesome?” Nikki asked causing Courtney to smack him with the spatula. “It’s just a question.” James and Mysteria looked at each other. “Oooh, do tell.”
“With my friend Amanda, we were all drunk and at the strip club having fun. Went back to James’s house and it just happened.”

“Ahh I remember those days.” Nikki said with a smile. “Few lines of coke, couple shots of heroin, half a bottle of jack and we were good to go.”

“How you kept it up, I’d never know.” Mysteria raised an eyebrow at him. Courtney started laughing as she plated the food. It looked delishish as they moved to the dining room table and switched topics to what everyone else was doing.

Once they were back at James, he had her nearly undressed as they made their way to the bedroom. James pushed her back down on the bed and moved over her. When he slid into her, she wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him in deeper. They’re lips met and their tongues attacked each other aggressively. Mysti’s nails dug into is back and he didn’t even care, he just wanted in her. He flipped her over and she grabbed the headboard for support as he gripped her hips and pounded into her. Their moaning the only sound in the room.

“Harder…make me cum.” Mysti looked back at him. He moved one of hand underneath to her clit and rubbed and pulled on it as he continued to pound into her. She cried out and her body shook as an orgasm took over her, this didn’t stop him. James knew well enough that if he wasn’t done, he could make her cum at least another time before he got his release. “James, let me on top.” Gladly, they switched places and she climbed on top, slipping him into her without any problem. His hands moved to her breasts, twisting and pulling on her nipples as she grinded her hips into his. He could feel the head of his cock against her cervix, which was a 100% guarantee she’d come at least once more. He pulled her down, taking her nipple into his mouth and sucking and biting on it. Her hips continued to grind against his cock and he felt her muscles tighten around him and she let out a moan as he bit down on her nipple hard. “Yes…Oh James.” He kissed her and felt himself explode inside her. She could feel it too and sat up, and grinded her hips against him, making him hard again. “Cum for me again.”

“You keep doing that and you know damn well I will.” He grabbed onto her hips and watched her breasts move up and down and it didn’t take long before he came inside her again. With a smile, she leaned down and kissed him before rolling one her back with a heavy sigh. “Damn, I love fucking you.”

“You’re not so bad yourself.” She turned on her side and ran a nail down his check.

“I’d been thinking about the shower all morning.”

“So was I.” he pulled her down to kiss her. “So was I.”

Chapter 5

James dropped Mysteria off at Nikki’s house the next morning on his way to the airport. She was staying with Nikki and Courtney until she flew back to Las Vegas on Sunday, plus she had her “double date” with DJ that night.

“Be good.” He told her when he was leaving Nikki’s house. Mysteria leaned in the car window and gave him a quick kiss. “I’ll be back in Vegas sometime next week. See if you can get time off work to come to Michigan for a week so that you can help me decorate the new house and we can film the video. Nikki said that it should only take a day or two, but I thought we could hang out.”

“I’ll see if Brian will let me have time off. Remember I just had a week off for a funeral.” She reached across him and grabbed his cigarettes from the center console and took one out. She took his lighter lit it and tossed the lighter back into the cup holder. He watched her, amused. Being with her for a few days really brought back some unanswered questions and feelings that they needed to address. Whether or not the two of them wanted to actually admit to or talk about them was another question. She had already said there were no James and Mysteria at the moment and she was making that quite clear by going out with DJ that night. He had already talked to DJ while Mysteria was in the shower that morning and made it clear to him that it was just a “friend” date, not an actual date. He didn’t think DJ liked the call, but he wanted to figure out what was going on with Mysteria first before he let her go for good. DJ had even said rather irritated whatever happened that night was up to them and he wasn’t going to let James dictate what they could and couldn’t do. The sad thing was, with Mysteria being in one of her maniac episodes, it was hard to tell what she’d do. Nikki wouldn’t let her get away with much and he knew he’d keep her from finding any cocaine, but it still worried him. “I’ll text him in a little while. He’s probably not even up yet.” She looked at her cell phone. “Nah, if he worked until close, his ass won’t be wandering into the shop til after six tonight.” She took a puff of her cigarette and blew it out over her shoulder. “Call me when you land.” She leaned in the window again and gave him another quick kiss. “I’ll talk to you later. Nikki’s pool and the sun is where I need to be.” She grinned at him as she stepped back from the car.

“Just don’t drop your phone in the pool like you did the last time.” James started the car with a wink of his eye at her.

“If I do recall, Mr. Michaels, you and Nikki thought it would be funny to push Courtney and I into the pool during a party. Not only was I pissed about my phone but those were expensive Jimmy Choo’s I had on.” She winked back and blew him a kiss as he backed out of the driveway and waited for the gate to open all the way before backing out and heading for the airport.

“Ahhhh….Van Nuys, what do you have for me?” She asked taking a drag and walking towards Nikki’s backyard where Courtney was already laying in the pool on a raft. She had her sunglasses on and was leisurely floating around on the raft. “Water cold?”

“No, it’s perfect. Go change and get in! Nikki’s in the dark room if you want to go see how your pictures turned out.” She nodded in the direction of a small house in the very back of the yard. “They weren’t ready when I went in, maybe they’re now.” Mysteria nodded and headed for the back. She didn’t bother knocking and walked in.

“Hey.” Nikki said when he saw her. “Check these out. They turned out great.” He was carefully hanging photos from a line with clips. “I love this one.” He showed her the one where she was straddling James’s lap and his hand was on her back with her head tipped back. “You two photograph so naturally together, it’s unreal.” Mysteria walked down the line looking at the ones that were complete and just drying. “I’ve still got two rolls to go, but they’ll be ready tonight or tomorrow.”

Mysteria stopped at the one of James tackling her from behind and they were both laughing so naturally. James had his arms around her waist and they were both bent forward as if they were falling, Mysteria was almost looking behind her as James’s face was turned slightly touching her’s. Her arms where grabbing at his. It was a totally random/candid shot that Nikki was able to get when James as just chasing her around the yard. She stared at it for a long time, wanting to reach out and touch it, but knew that she couldn’t since it was still wet. Nikki stood back and watched her. She hadn’t taken her eyes off the picture; she just stood and stared at it.

“What draws you to that picture?” Nikki rubbed his chin as he watched her. She tilted her head to the side and examined it. “What does it say to you?”

“We appear happy. At least in that captured moment. Our eyes have this light to them. You can tell that we had been together at one time.” She tilted her head to the other side. “Yet, there’s something that’s different. Not staged, but the way he has his arms around my waist and I’m trying to push them away. Almost like he’s holding on and I’m letting go.” She bit at her lip ring and continued to look at it. “There’s still something between us, something bonding us together.”

“Love?” Nikki offered. Mysteria shook her head. “Then what?”

“Being comfortable. A deep friendship. But a troubled one at times.” She blinked at focused on Nikki. “One where we can have fun, have amazing sex, but in the same time frame scream and argue at each other.” She glanced at a few others that were laying in the solution on the table before heading to the door. “I’m going to go change and get in the pool with Courtney.”

“That’s love Mysteria.” Nikki said before she shut the door, unsure of whether he had heard her. That was exactly what he had with Courtney and he found that he couldn’t live without her. She completed him. Maybe James was right; it was a bad idea setting DJ up on a date with Mysteria. Especially with Mysteria being in a maniac episode. She was bound to do anything, and by saying anything, he really meant anything. It was a good thing Courtney and him were going with them that night. Even if DJ was picking her up, they’d be together most of the night unless DJ wanted to go to a bar or something with Mysteria then it would just be them. Nikki had come trust Mysteria. She had shown him that she could be trusted around the drug scene and DJ had stopped taking drugs long ago other than the occasional pot smoking. It was LA, who didn’t smoke pot? It was a slap on the hand and getting caught with it and Mysteria had it legally.

Mysteria walked into the house and found Nikki’s daughter Storm digging through the refrigerator looking for something. When she heard someone come in, she looked over and slammed the door shut.

“Mysti! Dad didn’t tell me you were here! Where have you been?” She asked excitedly.

“I’ve been with James the the last couple days.” Mysteria said giving Storm a hug. “How have you been? Nice hair by the way, it resembles someone I’ve seen recently.” Mysteria gave Storm another hug. “Speaking of hair, I’m thinking of going bright red. What do you think? I’m kind of tired of pink and black.” Storm tilted her head and looked at Mysteria. Mysteria did a little turn shaking her head so her hair flew around. “I’m not talking just red; I’m talking bright bright red.”

“Uh oh, double trouble.” Nikki laughed walking into the house. “Storm, Courtney needs you to move your car in a little while; she’s going to go shopping in about an hour.”

“Well then you can drive.” Mysteria said to Storm who smiled.

“Drive where?”

“I’m going to go get my hair dyed red.” Mysteria said picking up a pink streak in her hair and looking at it. “I’m tired of this color.”

“Do you have time?” Nikki looked at his watch. “Dinner is at 7:30 and DJ will be here to pick you up at 6:00.” She nodded. “Well you’re an adult, have at it. On the other hand, you…” He looked at Storm. “Don’t get into trouble. Shit, I should say that to Mysteria too.”

“Oh you love me and you know it.” Mysteria gave Nikki a kiss on the cheek. “Storm, give me a few and I’ll be ready.” Nikki shook his head and put his arm around his daughter’s shoulder.

“I don’t know about her.” Nikki laughed and kissed the top of his daughter’s head. “Don’t come back with red hair.” Storm laughed gave her dad a hug.

Three hours later, Mysteria came back to Nikki’s with fire red hair, curled and ready for her date with DJ. Storm also convinced her to go to the mall and get something new to wear for the date, which she did.

“Add some bright red lipstick and you’ll look very 50ish.” Storm said from the bed where she was watching Mysti put on makeup.

“Good idea. Will go with the outfit perfectly.” Mysteria nodded in agreement and dug through her makeup bag. She heard a wolf whistle and looked in the mirror to see DJ leaning against the door frame watching her. She turned and looked at him and then at her watch.

“You’re about two hours early.” She said to him. He shrugged. “Overly prompt?” Storm watched the two of them looking from one to the other like it was a tennis tournament.

“Wanted to make sure you weren’t going to bail on me. Plus I had some stuff to do with Nikki over at Funny Farm. We just got back.” DJ looked her over with a smile. “Hey Stormy, your dad wanted to see you for a few.”

“I think you just want to be alone with Mysteria.” Storm got up off the bed and walked past him and rolled her eyes. Mysteria smiled in the mirror. Teenagers were fun. It was hard to believe that somewhere, she had a daughter the same age. DJ walked into the room and Mysteria watched him in the mirror as she applied her lipstick. She blotted and tossed it into her makeup bag. He walked toward her as she turned around and crossed her arms over her chest. “Why the defensive stance?”

“Just wondering what’s up with you.” She said noticing he was wearing his normal Ashba Streetwear and the hat he usually reserved for GNR. She had to admit, he did look rather hot. She had always had a thing for men with lots of tattoos. Her walls of her bedroom used to be wallpapered with posters of Bret Michaels, Axl Rose, Jani Lane and any other heavy metal/hair band including Nikki. It was kind of ironic the lead guitarist for GNR now stood in front of her. Of course, he wasn’t the original, but he was with GNR. It was also ironic that she was now friends with Nikki. Funny how life sent you down certain roads and the bumps that you hit along the way.

“Mysteria?”

“What?” She came out of her haze.

“I said your hair looks good. It suits you.” DJ looked concerned. “You okay?”

“I’m fine.” She turned back around and leaned in to look in the mirror. She pulled out some mascara and applied it to her eyelashes. DJ moved up behind her and she could feel his breath on her neck and it gave her chills. “What are you doing?”

“I have this urge to kiss you right now.” He whispered, his lips barely touching her neck. Another shiver went down her back. She turned around and braced herself against the dresser.

“Let’s set some boundaries from the get-go.” She pushed him back a little. “First, you’re invading my personal space at the moment.” She motioned at the space in front of her. “Once I allow you to, you can come into that space, but not until now.” DJ crossed his arms in front of his chest and nodded. “Secondly, we are going to dinner with Nikki and Courtney as friends. I’m doing this to get Nikki off my back.”

“So you’re not attracted to me in the least?” DJ asked. Mysteria could actually hear the hurt in his voice. “So what’s the point of going out then? You’ll just turn down any advance I make.”

“I’ll be honest with you, I find you hotter than hell and in my current mindset, I’d love to throw you down on the bed and have my way with you. However, that’s not going to happen because of certain reasons.”

“You’re with James.”

“I’m not with James. We’re just friends.”

“You sure as hell look more like friends in those photos Nikki is developing.”

“Those are for the video.” Mysteria shook her head. “They need to be scattered around the set I guess. I don’t know much about it.” Her mind went back to that one photo. She couldn’t get it out of her head. She was going to ask Nikki if she could have it or at least have him make her a copy. There was just something that kept drawing her to it. Something she needed to know. Maybe if she stared at it long enough she’d figure it out.

“So no going out together after dinner? I thought we’d go hang out at a bar or something.” DJ broke into her thoughts. “Maybe shoot some pool. Go see a local band playing.”

“We’ll see how dinner goes.” She said as her phone went off. She looked at the caller ID and saw it was James. “Speak of the devil.” She motioned for DJ to be quiet as she answered. “You made it back already?”

“No, I’m waiting to get on the connecting flight. Nikki sent me a text of your new hair. It’s quite interesting.”
“I’ve always been interesting. You know that.”

“You got that right. I was just calling to see what was up. I’ll call you when I get home tonight or I should probably text you since you’ll be out with DJ.”

“He’s here now.” Mysteria looked at DJ. “He was with Nikki out at Funny Farm. You want to talk to him?”

“That’s nice and no, I have nothing to say to him at the moment. Mysti, just don’t do anything okay? We need to talk.”

“I wasn’t going to. And I know we do and we will. Listen, text or call me when you get home. I’ll call you tomorrow. Have a safe flight.” She hit end on the phone and in the airport hundreds of miles away, James silently said, ‘I love you’ as the call ended.

Chapter 6

Niki had made reservations for the four of them at Lucques, one of the best restaurants in LA, according to him and Courtney, in Los Angeles. DJ and Mysteria had never been there. Mysteria hadn’t even heard of the place, but then again, she didn’t live in LA anymore and this restaurant looked rather new. After the talk with DJ that afternoon, they both decided to just follow Nikki and Courtney to the restaurant and go from there, depending on how the dinner went. Mysteria could tell that DJ was hurt by what she had said, but she didn’t want to lead the guy on. And she wasn’t going to sleep with him that was for sure. Dave and James in the same week was enough. She didn’t need to add DJ to the mix. She may have been that type of girl at one time in her life, but that life was in the past and she had moved far from it.

“What can I get for you m’am?” the waiter asked, looking at Mysteria’s hair like it was the first time he had ever seen someone with that color hair. Courtney tried to suppress a laugh with a cough, but Nikki, DJ and Mysteria could tell it wasn’t working. Mysteria thought the wait staff would be more amused with the tattoos on Nikki, DJ and herself, but the hair had won out. Nikki was right, it was an attention getter.

“We dutch or what?” Mysteria asked DJ causing DJ to laugh.

“I got it.” Nikki motioned to the four of them. “Same check. Order what you want Mysti.”

“Well then, since Mr. Sixx is being generous tonight, I’ll have the bacon –crusted haddock with artichokes.” Mysteria smiled at the waiter.

“And to drink?” The waiter opened the menu to the beverages and bar drinks, which weren’t many. She skimmed them quickly.

“Moscow Margarita and a glass of water with lemon.” She closed the menu again and handed it to him. After everyone had ordered and the drinks and appetizers had arrived, Nikki and DJ started discussing the new SIXX:AM album while Courtney and Nikki started talking about the upcoming wedding.

“Do you think you’ll ever get married?” Courtney asked sipping her chardonnay. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see DJ half listening to their conversation and the one he was having with Nikki. “I mean, didn’t you almost marry that one guy?”

“Jimmy?” Mysteria asked. Courtney nodded, knowing it was a touchy subject.

“Nah, he had me so strung out on drugs that it would have never worked. We’d be divorced or have killed each other within the first six weeks.” Mysteria laughed. “I don’t know if I want to get married. I mean, before my parents were killed, they had a good marriage. It wasn’t perfect, but then who’s is?”

“What if James had asked you?” Courtney asked in an almost whisper. Mysteria shrugged.

“We struggled at times. He was with me through the diagnosing of my bipolar and it was rough. We’d break up, get back together, I’d go manic and he’d think it was funny and I’d go off on him. Quite a few plates were broke from me throwing them. I think at points, I’m better off single. Just friends with guys.” Courtney laughed. “Kinda like the movie Friends with Benefits.”

“But what happens when one person falls in love with the other?” DJ interrupted. “I’m curious on your view of that.” Mysteria turned and looked at him. “You’re telling me that after all that time with James that you didn’t love him?”

“What is with this question? Damn, he asks me and then you ask me.” Mysteria took a drink of her water and set the glass down, watching the condensation slowly slide down the side of the glass. “Yes, I loved James. We split. Story over.”

“Yet you’re with him whenever you’re in LA.”

“I need a place to stay.”

“So you’re still technically together.”

“No we’re not together. I already told you that. And please quit asking questions about what we do. It’s none of your damn business.” Mysteria shot him a death glare before returning her attention to Courtney.

“Dude, I’d drop it.” Nikki shook his head. “One thing you don’t want to do is get her pissed off. I’ve seen it and it’s not pretty. Her and Kat got into an actual fist fight and she can hold her own. That’s one of the reasons she’s not working there anymore.”

“What’s the other reason?” DJ asked.

“Conflict of interest.” Nikki said simply. “Something happened, and she left. Kat doesn’t know the reason, only the people involved. They thought it was the best and she moved to Vegas and has been there ever since.” DJ looked closely at Nikki and watched him look over at Mysteria who was laughing with Courtney about something.

“You’ve slept with her. That’s why she left.”

“Damn, you’re a nosey person aren’t you?” Nikki took a swig of his beer. “It was a while ago. Before Courtney, when Kat and I were kind of on a break. Well sort of. Mysteria was stripping and tattooing. I went to her strip club, one thing led to another and she left the next morning.” DJ shook his head. Nikki looked over at the girls who were laughing about something.

“Hey, I’m just saying what you admitted to.”

“In not so many words, I admitted to nothing.” Nikki said quietly. “But I’ll tell you this, from what I remember, she was damn good. She has quite a few tricks up her sleeve. Maybe James will tell you more.”

“Oh I highly doubt that.” DJ shook his head. “He’s not exactly happy about this whole thing. Gave me the ‘you touch her you deal with me speech’.” DJ looked at Mysteria who was leaning back in her chair looking at something or someone that Courtney was pointing to. “Damn, I almost kissed her this afternoon. I couldn’t help myself, she looked so fine.”

“O-M-G.” Mysteria suddenly laughed and showed Courtney her cell phone and they both leaned in and laughed. “He’s texting me NKOTB lyrics?”

“Who is?” Nikki asked, raising an eyebrow and leaning toward Courtney. Courtney passed Mysteria’s phone to him and DJ leaned in to read as well. It read, ‘I can’t pretend that I don’t love you anymore. I can’t be friends cuz it hurts like it’s never hurt before. Now you think that I’m cold and I don’t care about you. I’m better without you is the furthest from the truth. I’m dying; I’m just trying to survive you.’

“That’s so ….” DJ paused. “Stupid.” Mysteria leaned across the table and ripped the phone from Nikki’s hand.

“It wasn’t meant for you to see.” She messaged something back and shoved her phone into her purse. Then she dug out a prescription bottle and shook two pills into her hand. “Xanax.” She showed Nikki the prescription bottle just as dinner was served. “You’re really digging a grave for tonight.” Mysteria said after everyone had started eating. “I told you this was just as friends.”

“I can see why James and you split. You can be a psycho at times.”

“Oh shit.” Nikki mumbled and put his knife and fork down. Courtney leaned back in her chair prepared to grab Mysteria if she dove across the table at DJ. “Dude, I wouldn’t if I were you.”

“And why would you say that?” Mysteria set her knife that she had been buttering her dinner roll with down on her plate and took a bite of the roll, her eyes locking onto DJ’s. She chewed as she waited for an answer. “Are you saying that I’m a psycho drug addict fucked up bitch that can’t keep a boyfriend and just runs around and screws every tom, dick and harry around?” Courtney’s eyes widened and Nikki looked around to see if anyone was listening to them. Thankfully, everyone seemed to be enjoying their own meals and conversations. Nikki silently prayed that the Xanax and drinks Mysti was having would work together and calm her down. He really didn’t feel like being involved in a fight or bailing her out of jail.

“No, I think you’re a tease. You tease James by acting like you want something from him, more than friends. You tease me everytime you see me.” DJ said causing Mysteria to cough.

“Excuse me?” Mysti took a sip of water. “I tease you, how?”

“The looks you give me. This afternoon for example. You told me if you could, you would have thrown me down on the bed and had your way with me.” Nikki and Courtney’s heads were going back and forth like a tennis match. Except both were waiting for Mysteria to have an episode. “What was that all about?”

“I told you this afternoon, if I could have, I would have. Did I? No. That means I can control myself, therefore, I was not teasing you. Nor did I give you any ‘look’ in any way to make you try and kiss me this afternoon. James and I have something together that does not constitute the need for being in a relationship. And that doesn’t make me a whore, slut or whatever else you want to call me. Especially not a tease.”

“In my book, that’s a tease.” DJ finished his beer and took a bite of his dinner, his eyes never leaving Mysteria’s. Mysteria was mentally mother fucking herself because DJ’s eyes were a mesmerizing blue and she knew damn well she was going to lose this fight.

“You need to reread whatever book or maybe it needs rewritten.” Mysteria took a bite of salad and wiped her mouth. “Because there’s so much you don’t know about me. I’m not an open book.” DJ leaned toward her.

“Then let me open you up.” He whispered so that only Mysteria could hear. She looked shocked and then gave him a slight smile. “I love to read.”

“I don’t think it would be reading.” Mysteria laughed quietly. “Eat, we’ll discuss things later. I’m not going to ruin Courtney and Nikki’s night.”

Chapter 7

After dinner, Mysteria decided to go to a couple bars with DJ. Why she had decided to go, she had no idea. She wanted to tear his head off after some of the dinner comments, but she kept her calm for the sake of herself and for her friendship with Nikki and Courtney. If she didn't become besties with DJ as Nikki was hoping, there was no loss on her end. She didn't need to be friends with all of Nikki's friends. Hell, she only saw him when she was in LA or he was in Vegas. It's not like they saw each other every day. Talk or text, yet, but they were just friends. He was head over heals in love with Courtney and their one night tryst was years ago, well not that many years, but quite awhile ago.

As DJ drove to a bar, Mysteria watched the lights of LA go past. People were everywhere, lines to get into the best clubs were long and she hated to say it, if you weren't part of the "in" club or knew someone, you were going to be standing outside all night. She learned that the first night in LA when she tried to get into the Whiskey. The longer she lived there, she realized this and once she started stripping and becoming "friends" with certain people, it didn't take long for her to be shaking her ass on the dance floor getting drinks and drugs for free. What she'd do for just one more line of coke. She closed her eyes and remembered what it felt like to be on a coke high. She always felt like she was on top of the world. She pinched herself and mentally smacked herself upside the head. Once an addict, always an addict.

"What are you doing?" DJ asked when he saw Mysteria pull her phone from her purse and text someone. Mysteria ignored him and texted. 'Having a withdrawal.' "I can't believe you're texting James when you're with me."

"I was texting Nikki, thank you very much." She said as her phone rang. "Hey, no...we just passed one of the clubs and I had the urge." She listened to him on the other end. "I'll be okay. I highly doubt that he's going to let me out of his sight and I promise I won't go looking for some. Couple drinks and he'll bring me back to your house." She listened again. "That's disgusting and I'll hold you to it in the morning after the meeting." She laughed, said goodbye and hung up. "Happy now?" She tucked her phone into her purse again, ignoring the text from James. She knew he was home now. She'd call him when she got back to Nikki's or tomorrow.

"Just was going to say that was pretty rude to be texting another guy when you're on a date. Well kind of a date."

"Friends."

"Yeah, I know. Friends." DJ mumbled and concentrated on driving.

"Nice ride by the way." Mysteria said after a few minutes of silence.

"It's called the Death Ride. West Coast Customs hooked me up." He smiled at her and he looked kind of like a creepy jack o' lantern from the orange interior lights. "What do you say we go back to my place for a bit? You can meet my sister Kari and we can just hang. I don't want you to get into anything that I'm going to get the crap kicked out of me for."

"Sure." She shrugged. She wasn't in a bar type of mood to begin with. Not that she wanted to be alone with DJ, feeling the way she was. He got her too drunk and she'd probably end up having her way with him. She burst into laughter after her next thought. If she slept with DJ, then she would have slept with the entire band of Sixx:AM. DJ glanced at her, confusion on his face. "Sorry, I'm not laughing at you. I'm actually laughing at myself."

"About?" DJ inquired turning down a street. Mysteria was quiet for a few moments, wondering whether she should tell him. Why the hell not. What would it hurt?

"I just realized, that if you and I were to ever, and don't get your hopes up, sleep together that I would have slept with all of Sixx:AM. Total groupie." This time it was DJ who busted out laughing. "I mean, seriously, how many women can say they slept with an entire band." They looked at each other and laughed again. "Okay there is quite a few, but I'm pretty sure I don't want to be clumped into that group."

“I don’t think you could ever be lumped into that group.” DJ pulled into a driveway of a condo and walked around and opened the door for her. James usually did that and it brought a lump in her throat. “Bienvenido a mi casa” (Welcome to my home) He shut the door and winked at her.

“Muchas gracias, señor.” Mysteria replied to his surprise. “Aprendí español cuando me mudé aquí. (I learned Spanish when I moved out here)”

“I should take you me with me the next time we go to Mexico. You’re much prettier than the translator we usually get.” DJ laughed as they walked up to the door and DJ let them in. “C’mon, I’ll show you around.” He took her hand and led her from room to room. It wasn’t a big condo, but it was elaborately decorated in horror things, which Mysteria found interesting, yet odd. Then this was DJ. He knocked on Kari’s bedroom door and no one answered. “She must be out.”

“You live with your sister?”

“Yeah, she’s my right hand.” DJ laughed as they continued down the hallway and back out into the living room. Outside on the patio was a huge hot tub that was surrounded with tiki lights, lighting up the back yard. “We can go in if you want to.” Mysteria raised an eyebrow at him.

“I didn’t exactly bring a suit and I’m not about to get naked in front of you.”

DJ held up a finger and pulled out his phone. “Hey Kar, you don’t happen to have any new bathing suits hanging around do you? I know you have an obsession about them.” His voice drifted away as he walked back to Kari’s room. Mysteria took this time to look around the living room and at the pictures. There were numerous pictures of him with Sixx:AM and Motley Crue. She had to admit he looked a lot better with his hat than he did with his bandana which he mostly wore with Sixx:AM. There were pictures of him with his sister Kari. She could see the resemblance. Then there were pictures of DJ with a blonde who looked vaguely familiar and others with another woman named Dorothy Martin who sang as Dorothy Valentine. Last she knew, they had been dating and as far as she knew, they still were. DJ came back a few moments later holding three black bikinis on hangers. “I totally forgot I had Ashbaswag merch here in the spare room. I thought they were all in Vegas.” He held them out to her. They were black bikinis with his Ashbaswag emblem on them. I wasn’t sure what size you were, so I brought what we had. The spare room is the one next to Kari’s.” She took them from him and walked back to the bedroom. She changed into the one that fit and ten wrapped a towel around her waist that she grabbed from the bathroom. Everything had his emblem on it. Was he that narcissistic?

“Hey.” She said to him when she walked outside. He was already in the hot tub and was watching her take off the towel and step into the water. She smiled and sunk in. It was a beautiful night and the water felt refreshing. He handed her a glass of wine. “Well thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He smiled back at her. “Glad one fit. You can keep it.”

“Thank you again.” She took a sip of her wine. It was a nice fruity wine that she wanted to actually gulp down, but she didn’t. “I glanced at a few of your merchandise while I was changing. You have some different stuff.”

“Swag for the demented.” He held up his fists to show her that each letter for demented was tattooed on his fingers. She laughed and saw the tattoo on each side of his hand that when he put them together said, “Trailer Trash”.

“What’s the story with that one?”

“Kind of a given, don’tcha think?” He asked taking a drink of his own wine. She shrugged. “Grew up in a trailer. Doing odd jobs, graffiti , etc. Basic teenager who really wanted the hell out of there. I finally made it and I thank God every day for it. The fans are amazing. I love those fuckers.” They both laughed.

“I follow you on twitter. I see how you are.” She swirled the wine in her glass, watching it. “What’s up with you and Dorothy?”

“We broke up.” He said simply. “Nothing exciting like you and James. Nikki acts like you two should be on the cover of US magazine or something because you broke up.”

“He’s just worried about me. That’s it. He knows, and has seen, how I get when I go manic. James and I were together when I was diagnosed. The doctor thinks the drug use made it worse than it could have been. So I’m on lithium and a cabinet full of other shit for various reasons. Anxiety, OCD, ADD, umm…..” She trailed off trying to remember. “There’s so many. I was a hardcore coke user for many many years.”

“We all have our demons.” DJ moved a little closer to her. “What’s more of your demons?” She laughed and leaned her head against the back of the Jacuzzi.

“I’ve tried heroin once. That was a bad experience. I don’t know how Nikki did it for so many years. I preferred the coke. And I fight it daily. The only one stopping me from doing it again is me. Well other than Nikki. He’d kill me. He’s my sponsor.”

“I wouldn’t want to see you go into a relapse.” DJ leaned back himself and they stared at the stars. “I’ve done my share of drugs. Then I found that I wasn’t getting where I wanted to with them.”

They stared at the stars for a while, enjoying the silence and the warm bubbles that were surrounding them. After like twenty minutes, DJ couldn’t stand the silence.

“You don’t happen to have a joint do you?” he asked hesitantly.

“Of course I do.” Mysteria laughed. “I always have some. I’ll go get one.” She climbed out of the Jacuzzi and wrapped the towel around her. Ten minutes later, she returned and climbed back in, the joint already lit. He could tell she had taken a couple hits off it already. She passed it to him and he inhaled and held it for a moment, letting the effect start. He closed his eyes before taking another hit and passing it back to her. “I think I’m more addicted to this shit than I am to coke. And I get this medicinally. They make some good shit.”

“You can say that again. You can tell it’s not laced with anything you’d find off the street.” DJ took it back. They finished it off and DJ dropped the butt into his beer bottle and they listened to it sizzle out. Mysteria smile and sunk lower into the Jacuzzi and then remembered her hair had just been dyed and quickly sat up, pulling it up into a high pony tail and using her own hair to tie it up. “Impressive.”

“You learn a few things when you’re a female…like how to pull your hair up in a rush.” She laughed. “The one thing that I can’t stand is men who can apply eyeliner better than me.” DJ raised an eyebrow. “Especially you, Nikki and James. There should be a law that men can’t do it better than women. I had Kat tattoo mine on.”

“Did that hurt?” he asked. She shook her head and then lowered her lip that was tattooed with LOVE. “I bet that hurt.”

“Like a bitch.” She laughed. “I was drunk and thought it would be cool to tattoo myself. Bad idea. Not one of my better self-tats.” She sank back down; making sure her hair wasn’t touching the water. “Your tats are interesting. I especially like the ravens.” She reached over and traced one of them. “Symbolic.” DJ nodded. “Don’t get the Havoc tattoo across your stomach, but then, it must mean you like to create havoc.” She leaned him forward. “And I really like the back tattoo. I have a thing for back tattoos and then the spot right at the hips of guys that stand out. I think it’s called the Illiacus muscle if I remember correctly.”

“You go to college?”

“Some. Too strung out on coke.” She closed her eyes and next thing she knew DJ’s lips were pressing against her’s softly. At first she didn’t respond and then she did. He pulled away after a moment . “Never kissed someone that had a lip ring in the same spot as mine.”

“Believe it or not, I’ve never kissed someone with at tongue ring.” DJ laughed quietly. “Let’s try this again.” He pulled her onto his lap and kissed her, slipping his tongue between hers. They continued kissing her until DJ’s hand slid up her back and started to untie her bikini top.

“DJ.” She whispered. “We shouldn’t. I shouldn’t.”

“Tell me you don’t want me and I’ll stop.” His words reminded her of Dave. It was the exact words that he had said as well. She hadn’t wanted Dave to stop either. And look where that ended up. Three days of pure sexual bliss. She didn’t have three days to spend with DJ, who possibly could suck in bed and she wouldn’t want three days. She gently pulled at his lip ring with her teeth, bringing his mouth closer towards to her. The voices in her head were screaming at her. It was like she had a good angel and bad angel sitting on each shoulder. The bad angel usually won when she was maniac. And she was maniac or at least in a manic period. Her mind started calculating as they continued kissing; she hadn’t had sex with James that day. They had the night before, so it wasn’t as if she was going to have two guys in one time. Twenty four hours, yes, would that make her a slut? Jesus, with her background, what did it matter? She used to sleep with guys for money and drugs. She definitely had luggage. She didn’t want to lead him on. Maybe he just wanted laid, she was okay with that. She loved sex. All you had to do was ask James. There were times he had hardly made it through the front door before she jumped him when he’d get back from a trip. DJ’s hands cupped her now naked breasts and his thumbs rubbed the nipples making them hard. “Nipple rings, nice.” His lips slid down her neck and she felt her body betraying her head, especially when his tongue flicked at her hardened nipple. She could feel him pressing against her and her body was more than willing to respond. “Here or inside?” He nipped her at her neck before moving his lips back up to kiss her.

“Inside.” She whispered, moving off his lap. She grabbed the top of the bikini and stepped out of the Jacuzzi. She wrapped the towel around her and he grabbed her hand and led her inside, stopping in the kitchen to lean her against the counter to kiss her. He moved the towel and massaged her breasts again. “DJ….”

“Follow me.” He took her hand again, leading her upstairs to his room, kicking it shut with his foot and immediately tackling her down on the bed. It wasn’t long before he was inside her and she was arching her back, her hips meeting his thrusts. She tried to be quiet, but it felt too good and she dug her nails into DJ’s back. Now he wasn’t being quiet and they both laughed when someone pounded on the door and they heard a female voice yelling to keep it down. “Kari’s home.”

“I guess we should be quiet then, huh?” Mysteria asked as he rolled onto his back, repositioning her.

“My house. I can be as loud as I want.” His fingers dug into her hips. She smiled and leaned down and kissed him.

“Then let’s be loud.” She whispered against his lips. And loud they were, so much that Kari turned the music up to the point that it was able to drown them out.

DJ took Mysteria back to Nikki’s around three in the morning. Between a few more glasses of wine and two more joints and another loud sex session this time in the Jacuzzi, Mysteria was surprised she could find her copy of Nikki’s house key. She managed to make it to her room and fell face down on the bed. With a laugh she rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. It was white, much like the rest of the room. Courtney had accented it in a deep red, as stoned as she was, it reminded her of the Queen of Hearts from Alice in Wonderland.

“I wonder if I’d fit in a rabbit hole.” She said out loud. She sat up and looked for her bag. She grabbed her shorts and tshirt she wore to bed and went into the adjacent bathroom and took a shower. She hated the smell of chlorine and when she was done, she fell into a deep sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

Chapter 8

Mysteria opened her eyes when someone tugged on her hair. She turned onto her side and saw it was Nikki sitting on the side of the bed with a Cheshire cat grin on his face.

“Morning groupie.” He said with a laugh. “Coffee is on the counter. You better get in the shower, AA meeting in an hour and a half.” He yanked the blankets off her.

“What if I was naked?”

“Then I would have seen something I haven’t seen in years.” He winked at her and left the room. She sat up in bed, her head spinning. How many joints had her and DJ smoked last night? How the hell did she get to Nikki’s? She should call DJ and make sure he was home, and then she realized that he was on his way out of the country with GNR. Maybe she’d text him later. Shit, then there was James who was home in Nashville. Or did he go to Michigan? She couldn't think. She stood up and went into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. The bags under her eyes could be covered up with makeup.However, her mouth dropped open when she saw all the hickeys on her neck and across her left shoulder. What the hell, what he 14? She must have been drunk and high. She heard her phone ring from the other room and she hurried into the bedroom and dived across the bed to grab it from the nightstand. At least she remembered to plug it in before she passed out last night. That was a first.

"Hello?" She asked without looking at the caller ID.

"Mysti?" It was James. Mysteria internally groaned and rolled onto her back. "You okay? You sound like shit."

"Thanks." She mumbled. "Had a little too much to drink last night." She might as well be honest, but she wasn't going to say she had had sex with DJ unless he flat out asked. Nikki would make snide comments, but wouldn't rat her out. How he knew, she had no idea. He probably just guessed from her manic state and the fact he knew her. And it wasn't like she was still with James. She could technically do what she wanted to. Who was he to tell her who to and not sleep with? "I gotta go to AA with Nikki, can I call you later?"

"Yeah, give me a call this afternoon. Did you see about getting time off?"

"Shit, I forgot to call. I"ll do it on the way to AA. I'll leave a message if I have to." She slapped her forehead. She knew Brian would let her have the time off. It was just a matter of asking. Her clients tended to want elobrate tattoos that took her at least a day or two to even draw them out. Her specialty was coverups, and before she left for the funeral, she had been working on a very detailed dragon and castle design to cover up a horrible tribal tattoo for a client. She was almost done, but the client was looking at least three visits to get it done. And they were talking four to five hours each time. But when it was finished, it was going to look amazing.

"So you're going to meet me in Michigan for the video. I'd say it'll be in a month or two. I'd like you to spend a week with me. Help me get organized, decorate, you know the routine. You helped me in Nashville."

"We were kinda living together off and on." Mysteria rubbed her eyes. "At that time anyway. I'll see what I can do. I really gotta get in the shower. I'll call you later."

"I'll be in Vegas this weekend." James said interrupting her. "I'd like to see you."

"I'm working."

"I'll come see you there. Maybe you can add to my back." he said not wanting to take no for an answer. "I'll see you then and talk to you later." Mysteria dropped her phone, nearly missing her head with a groan. Her head hurt. DJ, James, her....she was confused. DJ was damn good in bed. But James knew her like the back of his hand. She actually felt a craving for DJ. More like an ache. She closed her eyes and remembered the night before. Damn her manic periods. Why couldn't she be normal?"

"You're not ready." Nikki said scaring her and making her jump off the bed. "Not even showered."

"I was talking to James."

"Did you tell him you're a Sixx:AM groupie?" Nikki laughed and came into the bedroom. "Go shower so we can leave. I want to do a photo shoot with you and Courtney today. Gonna have to use quite a bit of makeup to cover those marks." He reached out and tilted her her head to the side. "Jesus, what is he a vampire?" He sat down on the bed and watched as she crossed her arms over her chest defensively.

"You better not say a word, Nikki." Mysteria glared at him. "I mean it." He made like his lips were locked and he threw the imaginary key over his shoulder. "Not even a snide remark." She glanced in the mirror. "These better be gone by this weekend. James will be in Vegas."

"For what?" Nikki followed Mysteria into the bathroom where she turned on the shower and started to pull off her t-shirt. Nikki leaned against the door frame, arms and legs crossed.

"Do you mind?"

"Not like I haven't seen it before." He watched her pull off her shirt and step out of her shorts before getting into the shower. "Angel wings are a nice touch."

"I can't hear you." Mysteria yelled over the shower. He came over and opened the shower curtain. "Hey!"

"I said the angel wings are a nice touch." He said and shut the curtain. "Hurry up, we gotta leave in 10."

"These daily meetings when I'm out here are getting old. Can't we just go once a week in Vegas? When you're not there, I promise I'll go." She stuck her head out, dripping water on the floor. Nikki looked back at her. "Please? I haven't used in over two years."

"What about last night?"

"Fucking DJ?" She asked.

"No, you're phone call. You're the only one who can stop yourself Mysteria." Nikki said walking out the door. "Only you, no one else." She shut the curtain and sighed before washing her hair.

When Mysteria came out of her room, fully dressed and ready to go, Nikki was sprawled out on the couch watching TV. Courtney was making breakfast in the kitchen and Mysteria's stomach growled at the smell of eggs and bacon.

"Not going?" She asked Nikki. He shook his head.

"I'm your sponsor, I can't force you to go. But if you relapse, I'm not going to be held responsible. You're two years out, I'm twelve. I fight addiction daily just like you do. I just throw myself into my photography and music. You're going to have to figure out something to keep yourself busy. Tattooing is good, but you're not there 24/7. I'm not around 24/7, neither is James. What if you go out with some girlfriends and they want to do a few lines. Will you be able to stop yourself? One line leads to two, then three and so on." Mysteria walked around the couch and sat in a chair. She put her heads in her hands. "Accidents can happen, we all fall off the wagon sometimes." She laughed at the lyrics to 'Accidents Can Happen'.

"Here I thought you'd start lyrics from Codependency." She looked up at him. "I can handle this, Nikki. "I really can."

"Breakfast!" Courtney yelled from the kitchen. With that said, the kitchen table was filled with the sounds of people filling their plates with Courtney's breakfast. Mysteria sat sipping coffee and watching Nikki interact with his kids. She remembered the same thing with her family, except the only kid was her. Occasionally Keegan would stay the night or one of her friends. There were even days when James and Dave would stop by just to have her mom's famous french toast. It was better than Waffle House or even iHop. Thinking of it made her mouth water. "So what's the photo shoot, Nikki?" Mysteria snapped out of her reverie and looked down the table at Nikki.

"I wanted to go to an old grave yard and have you and Mysteria dressed in Gothic yet tasteful clothes posing with tombstones. Maybe drive into LA and see what's going on, catch some candids of people. I'm contemplating putting together a new book." He kept talking but Mysteria's phone vibrated in her pocket. She excused herself to take the call in the other room. It was DJ of all people.

"I'm still home." He simply said. "How about a repeat before I leave? I can pick you up in twenty." Mysteria glanced at Nikki who was still talking, his focus on Courtney. "Kari just left to go take some merchandise to my store on Rodeo. I don't have to be at the airport until three."

"Nikki wants to take pictures of Courtney and I today. I don't know what time." She said, her voice full of disappointment. The ache was back. This time stronger. She wanted his lips on her. "Let me ask Nikki what time." DJ said okay and waited for her to ask Nikki. "Hey Nikki, what time do you want to do this shoot?"

"Probably around four, the lighting will be better in the cemetery for the lenses I want to use." He picked up his plate and headed for the kitchen, walking right past her and lowered his voice. "Why you going to go get laid again?" He grinned as he past.

"Pick me up in twenty." Mysteria said and pressed end on her phone, following Nikki into the kitchen. "I said no snide remarks."

"That wasn't snide. It was a question and by the look on your face, I can tell what you're up to. James is going to be mad."

"James doesn't have to know." Nikki took the plate from him and washed it in the sink and placed it in the dish drainer. "Remember, we're not together anymore. I don't know why you can't get that through your head."

"We have a dishwasher."

"Habit." She grabbed his cigarettes out of his shirt pocket and took one. She lit it and took a long drag from him. "What are you bitching about? You wanted me to hit it off with DJ. Just didn't know it was going to be that kind of hitting it off." She smiled and headed for the bedroom to put on some makeup.

Twenty minutes later, DJ was talking to Nikki and Courtney about the upcoming GNR tour and when he'd be back and able to put done some guitar for the new Six: AX album. Mysteria came out of the room and DJ smiled at her. She smiled back, her mind immediately racing to what was going to happen. He was like a drug. What the hell was wrong with her. Maybe she needed to make an appointment with her psych. This was unusual for her, more so than when it normally happened with James. She needed her hit and she was starting to shake.

"I'll have her back by one." DJ glanced at his watch. It was 9:30 am. "Two at the latest. I'll drop her off on my way to the airport."

"He's not my father." Mysteria grabbed her purse from the table by the door. "He's old enough to be my father though."

"What was I, 11 when I had you?" Nikki laughed. "I'm not much older than you. Remember, you turn 40 in two months and I have a night planned that will outdo any party you've ever had." Courtney clapped her hands in excitement and Mysteria knew that Courtney was definitely part of planning the festivities. That was her thing.

"I don't want a party." Mysteria said eyeing NIkki and then looking at DJ trying to telepathically telling him it was time to leave. DJ somehow got the hint and they said their goodbyes and DJ promised again he'd have her back in the afternoon. Once outside, he stopped and cupped her face and kissed her. She felt her knees go weak. "What are you doing to me?"

"Why?" he asked kissing her again.

"I feel like I'm addicted to you. I need another hit." she whispered against his lips. He grinned and took her hand, leading her to his car where he opened the door and waited until she was inside before shutting it for her. He got into the car and immediately leaned over and started kissing her. Mysteria sighed against his lips when his hand cupped her face. "We can't make out in Nikki's driveway. They're going to be watching us." Sure enough, they both looked toward the front window and Nikki had the curtain pulled back and was watching them shaking his head.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"Are you sure Kari's not home?" Mysteria asked when they pulled into his driveway.

"Yeah, her car is gone. I've got a lot of cars. Instead of spending money on drugs, I'll spend it on horror stuff, cars, and motorcycles." He took her hand and led her inside. Once inside, he pushed her up against the wall and kissed her slowly, first letting his lips just graze her lips and moved down her neck and across her collar bone. Mysteria groaned and started to pull at his arms , his response was to grab her hands and hold them above her head. "You had your way last night; I'm getting my way today. And I promise you'll enjoy every moment of it."

"As long as you don't tease me." she whispered as he kissed her again. He chuckled.

"Teasing is the best part." he took both her hands in one and took his other hand and ran his thumb over her lips before starting to unbutton her shirt, exposing a red lace bra. "Red is my favorite color." His head bent down and he ran tongue between the crease of her breasts causing her to moan. "Like that do you?" She nodded as he did it again, this time running his tongue over the exposed part of her breasts. Her nipples reacted instantaneously. He reached behind her and expertly unhooked her bra with one hand. Obviously he had done this more than once.

"So how many women have you slept with?" Mysteria asked. He looked up at her confused.

"You trying to kill the mood?" he asked pushing her bra up and suckling on a nipple for a moment. "Because you're going to." He switched breasts.

"No, I'm just curious." She inhaled as his tongue moved down toward her belly button. He stood back up and kissed her. "Can't a woman be curious as to what number she is?" He laughed.

"I don't keep count. Do you?" He kissed over to her ear and gently bit her ear lobe and then whispered. "Not as many as you think." He let her arm down and she felt a sudden rush of blood back through it. "I want you to do something for me." He took her hand and led her down the hallway to another room which she assumed was the "man cave" by the way it was decorated. He flipped on the lights and right away she noticed the stripper pole off to the side with some chairs facing it. "Dance for me. Nikki and James both said you're amazing, I'd like to see for myself."

"Seriously? We have what a couple hours together and you want me to dance for you?"

"The more your mouth keeps going, the longer it'll take." DJ nodded toward the iPad that was in the wall. "You can pick your song from that." She walked over to the iPad. Who the hell had iPad's in their walls that like controlled everything by the looks of it. She touched music and scanned through his play lists. She smiled when she saw Maroon 5's "One More Night". That was currently the top song on her personal play list. She fixe her bra and rebuttoned her shirt then hit play on the song before walking over to the pole. It had been a few months since she had stripped, but it came back to her as soon as the music started. She only did it when she needed a few extra bucks for something. She kept her eyes locked on DJ’s as she maneuvered the pole even hanging upside down from it and getting her bra off. She slid down and crawled over to him, licking her lips and climbing up on his lap to give him a lap dance. He kept his hands on the side of the chair, but she could tell he was forcing himself from touching her. ‘Moves Like Jagger’ came on next and she continued give him a lap dance, rubbing her breasts against him and griding her hips against him. He had a hard on that she desperately wanted either in her mouth or deep inside her.

“We gonna keep this up or are we going to fuck?” She whispered in his ear. With a quick motion he had her on the floor and was kissing her deeply as she helped him out of his clothes. With a swift motion, he was deep inside her and she yet out a loud moan of gratification as he thrusted in and out of her. One good thing about her hypersexual episodes, she wanted the actual sex, not any foreplay. James knew this and would take her just about anywhere. They had even had sex on the hood of his car in the garage because she couldn’t wait until they got inside.

“Get on your knees.” DJ commanded. She did as she was told and he slammed into her from behind causing her to cry out. Her head dropped down and he quickly wrapped his hand around her long red hair and pulled and she cried out again. She loved having her hair pulled. Something she didn’t tell him and something she knew damn well that James wouldn’t have mentioned. Not even Nikki for that matter since they had only slept together that one time. “Like that?”

“Yes.” She managed to say as he continued to thrust into her. He leaned down and ran his tongue down her spine causing her to shiver and arch her back. He let go of her hair and gripped her hips, digging them deep into her flesh and he quickened his pace. She could feel her own orgasm building and she actually came before him, crying out loudly, her body shuttering from top to bottom, setting off DJ’s orgasm. They collapsed next to each other on the floor, both of them gasping for breath. “So were they right?”

“I’d pay to see that.” DJ turned his head and looked at her. “Hopefully I won’t have to.” She laughed as he leaned down to kiss her. “Let’s take a quick shower. I don’t think either of us need to smell like sex when I drop you off.” He helped her up so they could gather their clothes. She followed him back to his bedroom where he went into the bathroom and turned on the waterfall/rainshower type shower.

“Damn, can’t handle a normal shower?” She said stepping in and letting it rain down on her and thinking of the shower she had at home that was just basic.

“Remind me to invite you to my house in Vegas.” He backed her against the shower wall and kissed her. “I think I need to fuck you in here too.” He lifted her legs so she could wrap them around his waist as he entered her. She tilted her head back, closing her eyes as he thrusted. His mouth latched onto her neck and at that point, she didn’t care. He was her drug right now and she was higher than a kite. It was amazing how sex was like coke to her, it gave her the same high, coming down was going to be the hard part. Then James would be in Vegas this weekend. She could wait a week, she hoped.

As promised, DJ dropped Mysteria off on his way to the airport. She walked inside and even Storm gave her a knowing looking. Mysteria laughed and shook her head to drop off her purse

“I’ve decided I want you and Courtney in old ratty wedding dresses. There’s a bunch of them out at the Funny Farm. Are you ready to go or do you need a while to compose yourself?” Nikki asked following her into the bedroom. He watched her brush her hair and then dig through her purse for some makeup. “Don’t worry about makeup, Storm is going to do both of yours.”

“Did you tell DJ anything about my dancing?” She watched him in the mirror.

“Just that you were one of the better ones I’ve seen and that James said the same thing.” Nikki grinned. “Let me guess, you got to use the stripper pole.” She nodded. “He owes me.” Mysteria put her brush down and gripped the edge of the dresser, staring him down. “What?”

“Let’s get this shoot over with so I can get to Vegas.” She turned and walked past him. “Maybe then I won’t feel like I’ve been set up on more than a date.”

“Mysteria, I would never do that.” Nikki called after her. Her response was to flip him off.

Chapter 9

Mysteria was glad to be home to her cozy two bedroom apartment and back to work. She still hadn't asked Brian about taking more time off. He was busy with his clients and running the shop and she had started on her client that wanted the elaborate dragon cover-up. The last thing on her mind was anything to do with James or DJ. Or Nikki for that matter. After the photo shoot on Saturday, which she was sure would turn out immaculate just like all his other pictures, she changed her ticket to an earlier flight and was home by three Sunday morning. She took Sunday to herself, turned off her phone and just sat in front of the TV all day. Of course, Monday morning when she turned her phone back on, her phone blew up from everyone under the sun wondering if she was okay. If Nikki and James had been that been concerned, they would have called her house, not just her cell phone.

By Friday, she was exhausted, but Keegan was in town for the weekend and wanted to go out. Keegan picked her up from the shop at midnight when they closed and they immediately went to one of the dive bars that had horrible karaoke, but cheap drinks. They both ordered beers and sat at a table to watch the people sing. After about an hour, the DJ called up Mysteria and James. Mysteria put her beer down and looked around the half empty bar. James was leaning against the counter, drinking a beer.

"Did you know he was going to be here?" Keegan leaned across the table and asked quietly. Mysteria shook her head as James walked toward them and grabbed her hand, setting his beer down at the same time.

"What are you doing here?" Mysteria asked as they walked to the stage. "Better yet, how'd you find me?"

"You're not hard to find."

"In a town this size, I find that hard to believe." She looked at the screen and saw that he had picked the song 'I Need You Now' by Lady Antebellum. "I can't sing this." James rolled his eyes and handed her one of the microphones. "I can't sing!"

"Just try, I think you have a pretty voice." James tapped the microphone to make sure it was on. He signaled that they were ready and the music started and the words came up. Her's in yellow and his in green. The ones they sang together were in orange. She mentally reminded herself to kill him after this was over.

"Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor. Reaching for the phone I can't fight it anymore." She sang, James watching her instead of the screen.

"And I wonder if I ever cross your mind." They sang together. They managed to get through the song and the entire bar clapped. Keegan even gave them a standing ovation. Mysteria was going to kill her too.

"Mysteria, wait." James said as she started to exit the stage. "Come back here a minute." She turned and looked at him confused. "I wasn't going to do this for a few more weeks, but...." He got down on one knee and pulled a box from his jeans pocket and opened it, holding it out to her. "Will you marry me?" Mysteria's eyes widened and her mouth dropped opened in utter surprise as she stared at the ring, which was gorgeous and then at him. She was tongue tied. She tried to say something, but her mouth felt like the Mojave desert. "I realized that I can't keep doing this and I need you now. In my life, forever. That's why I picked this song." She stared at him, he was waiting for her to answer him. Along with the entire bar. Her mind spun, she wanted people to stop staring at her.

"James." She managed to say. He watched her, anxiously waiting for her answer. She nodded and he stood up, taking the ring from the box and sliding it on her left ring finger. He hugged her and then kissed her quickly. "We need to talk before this happens." She said before they separated.

"Shots are on me!" James yelled to the clapping bar attendants. He acted like he had ignored what she had said. He led her off the stage where Keegan immediately hugged her and wanted to see the ring. Mysteria as still in shock. She had just said yes to marrying James. Is this what she really wanted? Why did he ask her all the sudden. They hadn't talked about marriage in almost a year and that was one of the reasons they broke up. She didn't want to get married, but he did. She left the day after their argument. Just packed and left. She was getting good at doing that. Maybe she'd have to do it again.

Keegan went back to Mysteria's apartment so that James and Mysteria could go to James' house in Vegas. They walked inside and Mysteria set her purse on the kitchen counter and for the first time really looked at the engagement ring. It was gorgeous. It had to be like 10 carets. James came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist, kissing her neck.

"I'm so happy you said yes." he whispered in her ear. "I couldn't stop thinking about it after I left you at Nikki's. I even talked to Nikki about it and he told me to think long and hard about it and I did. I want you in my life forever. I want you to be Mrs. James Michaels. I know we've had our problems, but we can work through them. We can have a long engagement unless you want to go get married tonight, I'm all for it." Mysteria turned around in his arms and looked up at him.

"A long engagement is perfect." She said quietly. "There's something you should know."

"You're pregnant?" He asked with a grin. "That would top it off." She shook her head. "Then what?"

"I had sex with DJ last weekend. A couple times." She said even quieter. James let go of her. "James..." She watched him walk out of the room. He was pissed. He had every right to be. Obviously the happiness of their engagement was over. She shouldn't have said anything. But she wanted to be truthful with him if they were going to be married. He needed to know. She wandered around the house, looking out the window at the street lights and contemplated going for a walk, but it was too late at night. James still hadn't came downstairs from wherever he wanted after an hour. He was probably cussing DJ out for all she knew. She was getting tired, so she curled up on the couch and pulled the blanket over her. She could have gone into the guest room, but she didn't feel comfortable sleeping in there. Slowly she drifted off to sleep, but it was a restless sleep. She kept waking up to see if James was back downstairs, but he hadn't came back that she was aware of.

She woke up the next morning and went upstairs. James was gone. The bed in his room was still made and he wasn't in the other rooms. She checked downstairs and he wasn't there either. Glancing in the garage, she saw his car was gone. She sat down at the island counter and took off the ring and called Keegan to come get her. She found a piece of paper in a drawer and simply wrote, 'I'm sorry'. She laid the ring on top of it and left as soon as Keegan got there.

"Where's your ring?" Keegan asked as soon as Mysteria got in the car. Mysteria looked out the window and said nothing. "I take it you're not getting married." Mysteria again said nothing. "Okay then." They drove back to Mysteria's apartment and she immediately took a shower and then left for work. Keegan was going to go check out the campus with her friends that were picking her up later and then they were going to the casinos. At that point, Mysteria could have cared less.

At work, she threw herself into working. She could concentrate and talk to the customer she was working on. He was just divorced, had five kids and was covering up his ex-wife's name. Mysteria thought about Dave's signature on her foot and actually grinned when she remembered that whole incident. To her it was funny, probably not as much to anyone else. Dave was so worried that his wife was going to find out. Like Mysteria would say a word. She had more baggage than an airplane getting ready to take off. Maybe she should write a book. Of course changing all names to protect the not-so-innocent. She finished the guy's tattoo and he paid her and left.

"Brian, I'm going to smoke." She called out to her boss who was working on a woman's leg. He waved at her and she went outside and lit a cigarette. Leaning against the wall, the bricks felt cool against her. It was hot and muggy and she could smell the rain coming. God, she was a country bumpkin. She always told Jimmy and Dave that when the leaves turned inside out it was going to rain and that she could smell it. They'd laugh and give her anther joint to smoke. Her mind wandered to DJ, he had texted her earlier, but she hadn't responded. There was no sign of James and Nikki called and yelled at her for not going to her AA meeting. She told him to fuck off and hung up on him. Keegan had thought that was hilarious. Glad someone thought it was funny, she had been more irritated than anything. She was sick of going to AA meetings. Everyone talked about the same thing. They were all junkies, some still even did it, but went anyway. Looking down the street, she saw a guy standing on a corner, leaning against a light post and she knew damn well she could walk down there and buy some off him. Maybe she'd do that. Get high, just more time. She thought about it as she smoked her cigarette. What would it hurt? She pushed off the wall with her leg and started for the guy.

"What are you doing?" someone asked pulling up to the sidewalk where she was walking. It was James. Of all people.

"Gonna get high." she said and kept walking.

"Mysteria!" He put the car in park and jumped out, slamming the door behind him. She kept walking and he hurried after her, grabbing her from behind and whipping her around. More a moment, she thought he was going to slap her across the face, but he had never even raised as much as a hand to her, ever. He did shake her, however. "What the hell are you thinking?" He raised his voice as she stared at him. She shrugged. "C'mon." He grabbed her hand and led her back to work. Brian was done now and was leaning against the counter drawing a tattoo in his sketch book. "Mysteria's leaving early." He said to Brian. "Mysti, go get your stuff." She did as she was told and wander into her room. Brian looked at James quizzically. "She was going to go down to the corner and buy coke."

"Holy shit. She's been clean for two years. What the hell is up with her?" Brian asked, his voice quiet so Mysteria wouldn't hear him. James shrugged. "You better get her to a meeting or somewhere else."

"I'll take her to my house. She may not be in tomorrow." Brian nodded as Mysteria came out front again just as about three people wanting piercings came in. Mysteria looked at Brian.

"Want me to pierce them?" She asked. He shook his head no. "Why not?"

"You're on temporary personal leave. Come back in a month." He said. Mysteria stared at him.

"You're fucking out of your mind." She said to him and pushed past James and the three customers, digging her car keys out of her purse and heading for the door. Brian told James she could come back in a month and then James left to try and get her before she took off.

"Mysti!" James yelled to her as she got into her car. She ignored him and started the car. She lit a cigarette and watched him walk around the car to the driver's side. He motioned for her to roll down the window and she flipped him off. So he walked to the passenger side and opened the door before she could lock it. He got in and her response was to flick ashes into the ashtray. "We need to talk."

"Really?" She inhaled and then blew out smoke. "You think?"

"Quit being a smart ass. I only did what was best for you? Do you want me to drag your ass to rehab again? Maybe that's what you need."

"Seventy-two hour hold." She said with no emotion in her voice. "Can't keep me any longer." She turned and looked at him. "Nikki did it to me once. Before you and I started seeing each other. Thought it would help me. Psych unit can't hold you unless your suicidal. Which I'm not. I was going to get high, not kill myself."

"I'm talking rehab, rehab." James took the cigarette from her and took a drag before handing it back to her. "I'll take you back there."

"Can't keep me unless I want to be there and I'll test clean. I haven't used in two years. Now get out of my car."

"Come to my house. I'll follow you."

"For what? You left me last night, remember? Not the other way around." She handed him back the cigarette and blew smoke out the window she had just cracked.

"I was pissed you slept with DJ."

"I got that." She stared at him. "I'm not sorry I did either. You and I weren't together. He was actually pretty damn good. If he were in Vegas instead of wherever he is, I'd probably do it again." Now she was saying things to hurt him. "He was pretty damn good." James looked away from her and out the window.

"You're being a bitch." he said still looking out the window.

"I'm being truthful." She tapped her fingers on the steering wheel. "Now get out so I can leave."

"Where are you going?" He looked at her. She shrugged. "Come to my house. Stay a few days."

"Keegan is here. Maybe her and I will go out and get drunk. That is if she's back from wherever she was going with her friends on campus." Keegan leaned over and opened the passenger side door. "Out." James got out of the car and slammed it. She put the car in reverse and backed out before driving like a maniac out of the parking lot. James ran his hands over his face and sighed, frustrated.

Chapter 10

Mysteria drove to where she knew she shouldn't be. She parked on the street and went up to the house and knocked. A guy with long blonde dreads answered the door and looked shocked to see her.

"The mystical Mysteria, where the hell have you been?" He asked, letting her in.

"Around." was her answer. "I need some." She cut straight to the point. The guy laughed and motioned her to follow him to the back room where she exchanged $100 for a small bag of white powder. "This ain't baking powder is it?" She raised an eyebrow at it.

"Would I ever screw you?" The guy asked then grinned. "Don't answer that." Mysteria rolled her eyes and opened the bag. She dipped her pinkie into it and then sucked on it. It was the real thing.

"Tastes fine. Thanks." They walked back out into the front room and he walked her to the door.

"Let me know when you need more." He opened the door for her as she shoved the packet into her pocket.

"I think this will last me a while." She smiled at him and headed for her car.

"Shit Mysteria, you're driving a Benz? Tattooing must be some damn good business."

"What can I say." She laughed opening the door. "I had a sugar daddy that was incredibly nice to me. Thanks again." She got in her car and started it. The bag was burning in her pocket. She wanted more of it. And now. But she couldn't. She had to wait until she got home. Her heart was beating a mile a minute as she drove through the neighborhoods that would take her to her apartment the fastest. She prayed that James or Keegan wouldn't be there. She'd lock them out. Shit, both had keys. She'd have to push something against the door. The couch! The couch would work perfectly. Or take a chair and shove it under the door knob.

Once she got home, she hurried up the stairs to her apartment and let herself in. No one was there, thankfully. She sat down on the floor in front of the coffee table and pulled out the baggie from her pocket, dumping it onto the glass top. She grabbed a credit card from her purse and carefully, but expertly, made lines with the powder. She looked around, she needed something to roll. Taking a dollar from her pocket she rolled it up and almost snorted one of the lines. Something stopped her. Something inside her.

"We all fall off the wagon sometimes." She heard Nikki's voice in her ear. She turned and looked expecting him to be sitting behind her. Of course he wasn't. Damn voices. No, it was her conscience. Screw it, she was going to do it. Then she heard James singing Codependance and she got up and walked through the house looking through the house.

"You need adrenaline, you gotta go and get you some. If you want to stay beautiful and broken." He sang into her ear. She slapped at the side of her head. "Go, go and live your life. Cuz, I can't save it.. No matter how I try. Know I gave you everything against advice, now I can't live it." She walked into the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. Maybe a hot shower would help her. Then she could do a couple lines, sleep a couple hours. All she wanted was a few lines. Just to feel that rush again. She needed it. She wanted it. She had to have it. She contemplated going and doing one then taking a shower, but figured she was already in the bathroom. She turned on the hot water and stripped out of her clothes and stepped in. The hot water beat against her body and it felt good. Not as good as DJ's shower. She smiled remembering their shower together. He was good. She craved him too, but the white stuff waiting for her was an even bigger craving.

James knocked a few times with no answer. He dug his keys out and found her apartment key. He walked in and immediately heard the shower and also saw the cocaine on the table in nice little lines.

"Jesus, Mysteria." He swiped the white powder sending it flying onto the couch and floor. He stormed back to the bathroom and whipped the shower curtain back, making her jump and scream in surprise. He drug her out of the shower and wrapped a towel around her, then pushed her into her room and kicked the door shut. "What in the hell were you thinking?" His voice voice was full of disappointment. "Get high? Throw the last two years of sobriety out the window? For what? Because I asked you to marry me and then you tell me you fucked DJ? I'll get over that. You getting high again and start using I won't. I won't let you do it." He pushed and she fell backward, her eyes wide at how pissed he was. He had never yelled at her like this. "Do you think Nikki is going to be thrilled when he finds out? I'm sure as hell going to tell him."

"Don't be going and getting high and mighty with me, James." Mysteria scrambled around on the bed, clutching her towel to her. "You and Nikki have no room to talk. So I bought a little. Was going to do a couple lines. What was it going hurt?"

"Oh, I don't know...kick your OCD into full gear and you be come obsessed with it again." James crossed his arms over his chest and stared down at her. "I'm not going to let you do it. Hell, it's gone. I got rid of it."

"What?!?" She yelled at him. "That cost me a $100!" James pulled his wallet from his back pocket and threw a hundred dollar bill at him. "I'm not your whore." She got off the bed and moved past him, heading for the living room.

"Don't go there Mysteria." James called after her. He went into the living room and saw she was standing by the couch, looking at all her white powder she had just bought scattered across the floor, the couch, the table. He also knew that she was contemplating just sniffing it off the floor. She was in one of those moods. Moods that she's been in before and that he's had to sit with her through. This wasn't their first rodeo. He got the vacuum cleaner from the hall closet and started vacuuming up the powder. Mysteria started yelling at him immediately and he ignored her. He even used the attachments to clean the couch and coffee table. He put everything away when he was done and looked at her. "I never have, nor will I ever call or think of you as a whore."

"Throwing a hundred dollar bill at me doesn't exactly make me think otherwise." She pushed past him so she could get dressed.

"Don't try your mind trick of turning this around on me. You're the one who went and bough the coke with the intent to use it. I'm the one that got you to NOT use it." James followed her and watched her put on a t-shirt and shorts. She threw the towel towards the hamper next to him and missed it. He picked it up from the floor and put it in. "Can I trust you to stay the night here or are you going to go snort the crap in the vacuum bag?" Mysteria ignored him and got in bed, her back towards him. He could see where her wet hair was leaving wet spots on her pillow. He sat down on the side of the bed and he placed his hand on her should to reassure her that he was there for her. "Mysti..." She shrugged his hand off. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Do whatever the hell you want to." She said, her voice cracking from crying. "I don't give a shit what you do or don't do." James got up from the bed and went and turned off all the lights and locked the door. He came back into the bedroom and stripped down to his boxers and crawled into bed next Mysteria. She immediately turned and faced him, burying her face into his chest and crying. He held her, kissing the top of her head and reassuring her that everything was going to be okay.

Mysteria woke up the next morning with a raging headache. She untangled herself from the sheets, blankets and James and sat up. He opened his eyes and looked at her back. She wasn't aware that he was awake yet. He just watched as she put her head in her hands and started crying. Her manic episode was sliding into a depressive one and he wondered if she was taking her meds. She seemed to be cycling a lot. Being that they had been together when she was diagnosed, he had learned a lot about the bipolar disorder and she jumped from being Bipolar I to Bipolar II once in a while, usually staying kind of in the middle, but it seems she was having the Bipolar I episode for a while and she finally broke. He wondered if she should call her psychiatrist in Vegas and request an immediate crisis appointment. He was, after all, her emergency contact when things like this happen. He prayed to God she wouldn't have to be hospitalized. She came out of those worse than when she went in.

"Mysti." He said softly, rubbing her back. "You okay?" She sniffled and nodded. "Do you want me to get you into see Dr. Kohen today?" She shook her head. "Are you sure? I can call her office and we could get you a crisis appointment. I'll take you."

"No, I'll be okay." She got up from the bed and went into the bathroom. She came back a few minutes later and got back in bed. She let James wrap his arms around her and she buried her face between his neck and shoulder while he hugged her. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. For last night, for the hateful words I said to you to make you pissed off at me." He kissed the top of her head and said nothing. "I'm not worthy of marrying someone like you, James. Look how fucked up I am. I'm a drug addict. I always will be. I used to be a stripper, I used to sleep with guys for drugs and money while I was stripping. Shit, I've slept with everyone in Sixx:AM...I'm a fucking groupie."

"Not the drummer." James said trying to make her laugh. Her response was to hit him in the arm.

"I've got too much baggage."

"I've got lots of closet space in all my houses." He pulled back so he could look at her. "I'm willing to take on your baggage." She shook her head. "So you're saying you won't marry me?"

"I don't know James." She remembered to the note she left on the counter with the ring. It scared her, being tied down to one guy. What if she actually liked DJ after a few more 'dates' and wanted to try a relationship with him? It wouldn't be fair to James to string him along. "I do love you, I never stopped. But let's just keep things as is for a little while." She felt him tense up. "I'm not saying no. I'm just saying, going from a relationship to a friends with benefits straight into an engagement seems a little rushed don't you think?"

They looked at each other for a few minutes. "Is this because of DJ?" James finally asked. "You want to see him again?" Mystera looked away from him. "Be honest with me Mysteria. If I can't trust you.."

"Yes. I just want to go out a few more times with him, perhaps without having sex with him, to see how things go." James closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I want to make sure that I'm ready for being committed to someone."

"How is this going to help you, Mysteria? You just told me that you love me, you're not saying no to marrying me, but you want to date one of my best friends to see if you want to commit to me? Do you know how whacked out that sounds?" He stared at her. "It sounds fucking insane. I'm not a polygamist."

"Isn't that if you have more than one wife"

"It can work the other way around too. I saw an episode of 'The Glades' about it." James looked away from her. “It hurts to see you with him. And when we start touring…” He let his voice trailed off.

“I won’t be there like I was with you. I have a job I have to go to. And honestly, I don’t think it will work with DJ. I just want to see.”

“Can you at least keep photos off Twitter, please? Every girl he dates it’s like a damn Twitter and Instagram circus. I mean, I’m happy for him, but do we have to see everything you do?” James sighed. “I guess our friends with benefits is over then? You going to have him tested like I had to be?” She nodded. “Make sure he goes with you to see Dr. Kohen. He needs to know about your mood swings and what not.”

“I know.” She said against his chest, tracing one of his tattoos with her finger. “I don’t think it’s ever going to be over between us.” James tilted her chin up and kissed her.

“I don’t either.” He whispered against her lips.

Chapter 11

James left about an hour later after talking to Keegan for a little while. Mysteria sat cross-legged on her bed, her cell phone in her hand. She hit reply to DJ's text message saying, "Good morning beautiful...here's a picture of the sunrise that I woke up to."

"You probably just went to bed, dumbass." she laughed lightly. She typed out, "I'm officially single if you want to go out on a date when you get back." She took a deep breath and hit send. She had no idea what time it was where he was or if he was even a wake. Surprisingly he responded.

"Awesome. I'll be home in two days. We'll talk then." He ended it with a smiley face. DJ Ashba used smiley faces in text messages? She sent a smiley back and tossed her phone next to her and laid back, staring at the ceiling. Her head was spinning with thoughts that wouldn't stop. She was on a 30 day 'leave' from work, so she didn't have to go in. Her clients were going to be pissed.

"Whatcha doing?" Keegan asked hopping onto the bed next to her.

"Nothing." Watching Keegan pick up her phone and flip through the pictures.

"DJ is pretty hot." She brought up a picture of him shirtless that he had sent her not that long ago from the beach. "I'd do him."

"Keegan." Mysteria looked at her cousin. She took her phone and looked at it. She was right, DJ was hot. The ache came back. Damn he wasn't going to be back for two more days. There was always James...no they promised each other. No more until she figured out what she wanted. She tapped her phone and then made an appointment with Dr. Kohen for her and DJ on Friday. If DJ wanted to part of her life, he might as well know everything. She then texted DJ to let him know. His response was, "Come to Brazil for me. Pack a bathing suit." Shit, of all times. Another message beeped. "A ticket will be waiting for you at the counter for tonight."

"What's that face look like that for?" Keegan took the phone from her. "Brazil? Seriously? We gotta get you packed!" She jumped off the bed and had Mysteria's bag packed within minutes including one of Mysteria's skimpier bikini's that showed a lot. Mysteria thought a moment. What the hell, she loved doing things on a whim. Off to Brazil....as long as she could find her passport.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Thirteen and a half hours later, Mysteria was finally in Rio. DJ met her at the airport along with his bodyguard, which Mysteria found amusing. People stopped to take pictures of DJ and ask for autographs. It was just like being around James and Nikki. They could never have any personal time. DJ didn't seem to mind and was happy to stop and chat. Mysteria made sure she stayed away from the camera, letting DJ do his thing. Once outside, they were whisked into a waiting car that his bodyguard drove.

"Can I kiss you?" he asked as she buckled her seat belt. She leaned forward and gave him a quick kiss that turned into a longer one. The ache was back, but she ignored it. She was going to try self-restraint, it was going to be hard, but they were only there for two days until they were back in Vegas and she had an appointment with her pdoc as she liked to call her. At the appointment, DJ would learn what her bipolar was like, what her meds were, how to tell what episodes she was in and how to deal with them and most of all, get tested for any STDs so that he could become one of her "safe" sexual partners when she went into a hypersexual mode. Not that it mattered right at the moment since she had already slept with him. "I didn't think you'd come."

"Why not?"

"Just didn't. With James and everything." Mysteria looked him over. He was wearing his Ashba Streetwear clothes and one of the beanies. James wore those a lot. She had been known to wear one every now and then. Especially when she hadn't showered and needed to run to the store. It was much quicker to stuff your hair in it and go. She also noticed the vast difference between how he looked with Sixx:AM and GNR. With GNR he wore this cool hat that reminded her of the hate that the guy from Alice in Wonderland wore. With Sixx:AM; he wore his hair like he had just rolled out of bed. Most days he probably did. "So what made you change your mind?"

"I'm officially unofficially single." Mysteria said realizing how stupid that sounded. "James asked me to marry him. I said yes at the moment, we get back to his place and I told him about us. He blew a gasket and left. I left the ring on the counter." She sighed. "Then it gets even worse."

"Go on." DJ prodded. Mysteria looked out the window. "That bad?"

"I went and bought coke. I was doing to do just a few lines. James came to my apartment and got rid of it and wouldn't leave. He thought that I was going to snort it out of the vacuum bag or something. The next morning we discussed what we were going to do and we're going to let it go for a while. It's not fair to him that I want to go on a few more dates with you and see what happens. He's not happy about it, but he said as long as we don't do a twitter/instagram montage, he'll deal with it." DJ laughed. "He's serious. He's having a hard time that his ex-girlfriend/ex-fiancé wants to date one of his best friends." They looked at each other. "When Sixx:AM goes on tour, I'm not going or coming to see you. I'm not going to parade it around in his face if we're actually dating." DJ nodded in agreement. "Okay, now that the cat's out of the bag, we can see where it goes from here. But...."

"Oh no, here it comes." DJ sighed.

"I need you to go with me to see my psychiatrist on Friday. She'll go over the bipolar disorder and what to look for when I'm having episodes, what to do. And you're going to have to be tested for STDs."

"I'm clean."

"I don't care. You either do it or this won't happen. James had no problem doing it. If we're dating and I go into a hypersexual episode like I was in recently, you don't want me chasing James down, now do you?" He shook his head. "Then is there a problem?"

"No." DJ shook his head again. Mysteria smiled and he leaned forward toward her. "Then let's see where this goes." He pulled her closer and kissed her. They kissed for a few minutes and then DJ leaned back. "You know Nikki is going to go ballistic when he finds out you bought coke."

"Really?" She handed him her phone where she had about ten missed calls from him since she landed. "He's going to want me back in LA so I can go to AA meetings with him daily since I'm on personal leave from work for 30 days, thanks to James." DJ looked at her as the car stopped in front of the hotel. "Don't ask. He's caused me more issues in the last few days then I need to remember. Let's just move forward."

The next two days that they had in Rio were spent partying at night after the GNR concerts and site seeing during the day. DJ took pictures of her laying topless out on the beach, thankfully she was laying on her stomach. She knew a few pictures of them together were going viral when she got a text from James that simply said, "Really tasteful picture of you shoving your tongue down DJ's throat or the vice versa." She showed DJ and his response was to kiss her.

* * * * * * * * * *
"Mysteria." Dr. Kohen said with a smile when she met her at her door. "Time seems to fly, how have you been?" She eyed DJ as he sat down with her.

"I'm okay."

"Well from what James told me, you slipped a little, but he was able to stop you from doing anything." she sat behind her desk and opened her filed. She flipped through a few pages. "This was Saturday night?" Mysteria nodded. "You know what will happen if you even do one line."

"Yes." Mysteria said in an almost whiney child way. "That's not why I'm here. The urge is gone. I was just having a rough time. I'm here for him." She odded i the direction of DJ. "DJ, this is Dr. Kohen, my psychiatrist. Dr. Kohen, this is DJ Ashba, my..." She looked at DJ. "I guess my boyfriend."

"You guess?" She asked.

"Well, it's the beginning stages." Mysteria watched as Dr. Kohen wrote something in her file. "I need you to tell him what I go through and then we're going to go get him tested. I just came out of a hypersexual episode, that was confirmed by my shrink in LA." She nodded.

"But you were James, so it was okay." Dr. Kohen flipped back in the file to read what her other doctor had sent over.

"Well, I kinda had a fling with an old friend while I was in Virginia after my ex died." DJ looked at her and mouthed 'who' to her ad she pointed at her foot. He mouthed back 'really' and she nodded. He then mouthed 'groupie' to him and her response was to hit him in the arm, causing Dr. Kohen to look up from what she was writing. DJ grabbed her hand and smiled at the doctor.

"Well DJ, I'll give you the long and short of it. Mysteria was diagnosed with bipolar disorder two years ago. There's a broad spectrum of this disorder, so we can't specify whether she's Bipolar I, which has more of a mania to it or Bipolar II which is more depressive. She mood cycles quite a lot so at the current time she's just bipolar. When she's heading into a Bipolar I episode, she basically won't sleep. She tends to act like she's on speed. She's been known to call my emergency number in the middle of the night to ask me if any home improvement stores were open so she could repaint her entire apartment. She can forget what she's supposed to be doing, such as work. She just won't go and that's probably the best. Her employer is aware of this as I've spoken with him numerous times. When she's in these episodes, she can become what we call hypersexual." Dr. Kohen paused and it gave Mysteria the time to interrupt.

"The first couple times with you...total hypersexual episode. Not that I wouldn't have even if I wasn't."

"Well that's reassuring, I think." DJ looked from her to the doctor.

"Basically, I want sex...like all the time. Morning, noon, night...whenever, where ever. I don't think that makes me a sex addict because otherwise, my sex life is pretty normal when I'm in a relationship. I only have those when I'm in a mania, which brings me to a question." Dr. Kohen nodded. " I think we need to up the lithium. I don't think it's working anymore. I'm cycling again. The other day I couldn't stop crying. Of course, James and I had just called it off officially."

"Officially non-officially." DJ reminded her. She nodded and Dr. Kohen looked at the two of them confused. "He asked her to marry him, she said yes then told him about me and they decided to end things that were going on with them so that she could be with me."

"Mysteria...jumping from boyfriend to boyfriend has been a problem in the past." Dr. Kohen shook her head. "We've discussed that you should stay single."

"I know, but there's something about DJ." She looked at him and bit her lip. "Something that keeps drawing me to him. Something that is totally different than with James. And James and I were a more friends with benefits thing." She watched Dr. Kohen scribble on her prescription pad and then another or her labs to be ran and DJ to have his labs ran.

"I want to see you back in here in two weeks to see how the increase with the lithium is. I'm also giving you another script for Xanax." Mysteria nodded and leaned forward to take all the slips. "Now DJ, Bipolar II you have to look for depressive states. Where she won't go out of the house. She'll stay in bed for days if you'd let her. If she starts hearing commanding voices, you need to let me know immediately and get her to a hospital. Especially if they tell her to hurt herself. She's never been one to hurt herself, but being that she just bought cocaine with intent to use it, I can tell she's bouncing between what we call her "normal" state and Bipolar II."

"What's 'normal' for her?" DJ used the air quotes.

"How you see her right now, but that can change at any moment. Her mood is greatly affected by the moods around her. She also has OCD and will obsess about things."

"I can tell you whatever you want to know about somethings. I'll scour the internet if you give me a topic and it lasts for hours. And I love pens. You should see my desk drawer at home." Mysteria nodded. "And don't let me gamble, or at least keep my money I win and only let me play with the money I bring in."

"She pretty much summed herself up. Do you have any questions?" Dr. Kohen asked. DJ had many, but he wasn't sure where to start with them, so he shook his head.

"Okay then, two weeks and we'll meet again. Nice to meet you DJ, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other again." Everyone stood and DJ shook hands with the doctor. "Have a good day."

Once they got back into DJ's car, Mysteria asked, "Ready to give up? I'm one crazy person."

"Nope, sounds like you're a fun ride that I intend to ride again and again." He laughed as he started the car.

Chapter 12

Mysteria sat the the counter of DJ's kitchen sketching in her sketch book, listening to her iPod and singing along to Maroon 5. She was in the middle of sketching a raven when someone put their hands over her eyes and then leaned down and ran their tongue along her ear before gently nipping her earlobe. She was so stunned she couldn't even scream, but she had goosebumps running up and down her back and arms.

"I'm going to kill you, DJ. I don't think you want me going into the hospital for homicidal ideation." she said as the person spun her around on the bar stool, keeping her eyes covered. She felt lips press against her's, but they weren't DJ's. She could tell by the fact there wasn't any lip ring. She pulled the hands off her eyes and James stood in front of her with a big smile on his face. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw DJ leaning against the other counter grinning. "What are you two doing back in Vegas? I thought you had to be in LA. And what the hell are you kissing me for, you idiot?" She kicked out at James, but he moved before contact could be made.

"I had to come back for some Ashba Media stuff and James decided to come hang out for a few days." DJ walked over and gave her a kiss, letting his lips linger on her's. She smiled and kissed him again, this time letting her tongue slip between his lips to tease him a little. They had been apart for two weeks and he wasn't supposed to be back until the following week. "I've missed you."

"I've missed you too." she whispered as he pulled away. It had been three months and they were still together. While she had been on her non-needed personal vacation time thanks to James, she had gone to Michigan with him and decorated the house and they did the video. The only thing you saw was the back of her. It actually turned out to be a good video and Mysteria enjoyed watching how things were filmed. After that was over, her and DJ had become pretty exclusive. She knew he was posting pictures of them on Instagram because she'd get the occasional smart ass text from James and Nikki, especially after the one he took of her sunbathing topless by his pool. At least she was laying on her stomach, but DJ's ex-girlfriends didn't like having DJ's new relationship broadcasted across the internet either. He even go as far as using hash tags such as #blessed, #lovinlife, #truelove. Her favorite was #conquertheworld because that's what he seemed to want to do with his Ashba Swag line and everything that fell under Ashba Media which seemed to be growing by leaps and bounds. There wasn't a day she didn't get some nasty comment on Twitter or Instagram that he'd do the same thing to her as he had done to them. As soon as he got bored, he'd move on to someone else. Mysteria knew that James was secretly wishing that was true and he'd hurry up."Well the two of you scared me." She slid off the bar stool and closed her sketch book, which DJ immediatly took so he could see what she was sketching. "Hey!"

"You're sketching a raven?" He eyed her. She nodded. "Why?"

"I was going to surprise you." she took it back. "Seems like I tend to tattoo the guys I date. Or at least sleep with." She looked at her wrist and then her bare foot. James rubbed his wrist where his matching infinity tattoo was. She's done a couple of Nikki's tatts, but they were ones he wanted. Nothing to symbolize they had once slept together. Both of them preferred now to reminisce about that night. James and DJ knew better than to say anything. She decided to quickly change the subject. "Hey, wanna see my lastest tweet from my Tweet Haters?" She took her phone and opened TweetCaster, her preferred app for Twitter, and read DJ the tweet. It was from his ex-fiancee, "Just wait until he asks you to marry him and then takes the ring back six months later because he found someone else...being you skank."

"For crying out loud." DJ groaned and showed it to James. James said nothing, but looked Mysti right in the eye. "What else have they been saying?"

"Rumor going around that we were seen in LA and I was using my purse to cover a baby bump." She jumped off the bar stool and spun around. "Do I look pregnant? I'm quite fond of my flat stomach, thanks to your sister and Zumba." She patted her stomach and then showed DJ and James her arm muscles. "We've been working out. I bet I could lift you." She tried to lift DJ and instead he lifted her and threw her over his shoulder, smacking her on the butt after he did so. "Put me down!"

"We'll be back in a few. Make yourself comfortable." DJ yelled over his shoulder to James who was already grabbing a beer from the fridge. DJ carried Mysteria up to his room and deposited her on the bed before moving over her and kissing her how he really wanted to. She was in one of her moods, so this was a very reciprocated kiss. "Baby, we don't have time." He whispered when she tried pulling off his shirt. She groaned. "Do you have a smoke?"

"Of? I got a new script today. Stuff is off the charts." She leaned over and grabbed a box from this nightstand. For the past month, they had pretty much been living together. She'd go to her apartment pay bills, get more clothes. Keegan would be there in a three weeks, so she wouldn't have to worry about it too much other than to pay her half of rent. She opened the box and pulled out a pre-rolled joint. "Kari and I rolled some today, then tried it while we tanned. But she had to leave, she said she'd be back late tonight. I think she has a date. She kept saying they were going to dinner and then to see The Blue Man Group. But wouldn't say who was." Mysti held the joint to her lips and lit it, closing her eyes as she inhaled. She held it in longer than needed then smiled as she passed it to DJ who took a hit. "Shit is good isn't it?"

"They give you a stronger batch or what?" he asked holding it in before exhaling. She nodded. "Why?"

"Rapid cycling and extreme anxiety." he passed it back to her and she took another hit."And this doesn't calm me down, it makes me hyper. Just an FYI in case I start running through the house." She smiled as he took it from her again.

"Oh I see, you don't share." James said from the door. Mysti patted the spot next to her and he came and sat down. DJ passed it to him and it was his turn to try the new stuff. Mysti could tell by the smile on his face he liked it.The ended up smoking two joints and Mysteria was definitely feeling it. She put the box back on DJ's night stand and then looked at him with a want in her eyes. She crawled on all fours over to him and sat in his lap. "I should probably leave the room."

"I wouldn't." Mysteria looked at him and then whispered something in DJ's ear. DJ looked at her and then whispered something in Mysteria's ear. She laughed and crawled over to James and straddled his lap and played with the necklace he had on. "Kiss me." James stared at her, his mouth opened a little in surprise. Mysteria gave up waiting for him and kissed him instead. James was a little shocked at first and then kissed her back. The spark that always seemed to be there, was evident. Her hands messed with his hair, his hands went to her butt, which was only clad in a bikini. He pulled his mouth away from her's and moved down her chest, kissing the mounds of her breasts. Mysteria turned her head and motioned DJ over. He moved over and she motioned him closer so she could kiss him. She wanted both of them and she was going to have them one way or another. Even if she had to sneak James into the bathroom and have her way with him there.

"Baby, we really don't have time. We have dinner reservations and then James and I were going to do an online chat with the fans and show them the new Ashba Streetware. We'd like you to be the female model. You're already wearing the bikini. We just have a couple shirts, robes, sleeping pants. You know women's wear. Do this for me and we can play."

"Why does this sound like negotiations?" she asked looking from James to DJ.

"Because you want something and in return I need you to do something for me. Give and take...that's how a relationship works remember. Not to mention, you want something that I've never done. I don't know about you and James, you two were pretty out there."

"No we weren't." they said together. Mysteria leaned down and gave James a quick kiss before moving off him. She got off the bed and put her hands on her hips. "Where's dinner."

"Sushi." DJ grinned. She rolled his eyes. Not that she minded sushi, but he was a sushi addict. "I made reservations at Kabuto, so go shower and get ready." Mysteria sighed and headed into the bathroom. She heard the two of them talking as she stripped out of her bikini and turned the water on in the shower. She stepped in the shower and let the hot water hit her. She was in the middle of washing her hair when the shower door opened and someone stepped in behind her. She wiped the soap from her eyes and turned around, expecting to find DJ and instead she found James.

"What the hell?" She said surprised.

"DJ had to run over to the warehouse, said he'd be back in a half hour or so." James pushed her back against the wall and brought his lips down on her's, kissing her forcefully. Her knees buckled and he held her against him to keep her from sliding down the wall. His lips moved down her neck as his hands cupped her breasts, his thumbs rubbing her nipples, making them hard. "So were you serious earlier?"

"About what?" She asked breathless.

"Us. The three of us I meant." He nipped her neck and she moaned. His hands slid down to her butt and squeezed. "We only did it that one time with your friend."

"And you enjoyed two girls, didn't you." She said between kissing him. She felt him smile against her lips.

"This time it's two guys, more for you than us."

"So I'm selfish. I wouldn't do it with anyone other than you two." He pressed against her and she moaned, she wanted him right then and there. "Fuck me." He looked at her. "Please...now." He turned her around and pressed her against the wall of the shower and slid into her. They both moaned as he thrusted into her again and again. She felt her body tensing and it only took a few more thrusts before her body exploded with an orgasm, setting James off as well. He thrusted into her hard, one last time, his fingers digging deep into her hips. "Oh my God..." She could barely catch her breath. James turned her around and kissed her. “What is it with us and showers?” James laughed and shrugged.

“I’m getting out so I can fix my hair.” He grinned at her.

“You’re such a girl.” Mysti laughed and pushed him out of the shower. “My blow dryer is under the sink.” She finished her shower and when she got out, James was already downstairs. She got ready and when she was finally done, DJ was already back. She took a deep breath and headed down the stairs, how was she going to tell DJ what she had done?